Thursday, February 28, 2013

Proverbs Ring True

Pride goeth before a fall, says the adage, and nowhere is that more true than here this week.  I posted earlier this week that I was proud of M1.  Now, I am full of disappointment, and because I blog all my life - the good, the bad, and the ugly - I need somewhere to vent my frustration.

Ahh, the anonymity of a blog and the kindness of readers.  I know (OK, I hope) you'll sympathize, even if you can't really understand.

I discovered yesterday that M1 has been sneaking into my room at night - AGAIN - and stealing the remote - AGAIN - and using it to try to watch TV in the middle of the night.


Now, Oz and I have parental controls set so that the kids can only watch TV during normal, human-functioning hours, so he wasn't able to get anywhere with that, but apparently he spent a good chunk of time learning how to delete game history and playing Wii games.  *sigh*

Then today he asked for his math worksheet.  We use MUS, and I use the 'test' pages as a final review of the material in each lesson.  He asked for the test.  I handed it to him.  Five minutes later, he handed it back, complete and utterly correct, which is UNHEARD of for him, especially since it was neatly written and there was a plethora of difficult multiplication involved (squaring 63, for instance, as part of finding the area of a circle), which I know takes him several minutes to complete by itself.

So I asked him to hand over his scratch paper notebook.  As I flip through it, knowing what I'm going to find, I thought I'd give him a chance to 'fess up.

"You're cheating, aren't you?" I asked.


"M1, there's no way you could finish that work that quickly.  Show me your work."

"It's... all throughout the book.  It's not just on one page."  (This is probably true, as I know he does flip around when working, but I wasn't buying it today.)

"M1, did you come in here in the middle of the night and get the answer book and cheat?"


About that time I found the page.  Numbered neatly 1-18 with all the answers listed next to it, the evidence was staring me in the face.

"M1, what's this?"

"Oh, that's just the answers copied down before I put them on the paper."


"M1, WHY????"

"I dunno..."

I do not punish for bad 'grades.'  It only shows me that we need more practice on a concept.  M1 KNOWS THIS.  So I just don't understand.

I simply don't understand the lying, the cheating, the sneaking, the stealing, the hiding, and - like I said - the lying.  I don't understand how he can want to be treated like an adult and be left alone... and then turn around and act like a toddler who has to be monitored 24/7.  There's pushing boundaries, and then there's this.  This is beyond pushing boundaries.  And I'm lost.

Pass the Bailey's.  I need a stiff'ner.


farmwifetwo said...

Need to get it out of the cupboard give me a moment.

Is it time to explain to him that should he continue to cheat he can be returned to regular school. Mine doesn't cheat, he's just miserable and hard done by so I'm no help.

Had a thought - cursing my phone since it won't let me write where I want too - is it time he saw someone for social skills etc?? Mine's being done at school since I'm the dumbest person on the planet.

But I can share my booze.

Addlepated Monkey Mama said...

Lots of hugs comin' your way. My new mantra is "It's just a phase. He'll grow out of it just like he grew out of X, Y, and Z." Damn their little brains that get so fixated on doing something that nothing we do (natural consequences, punishments, reasoning) seems to stop the behavior. I hope this phase of M1's passes soon.

Wendy L. Callahan said...

You have, not just my sympathy, but my empathy. Dealt with lying big time this week! *Hugs*

Sarah said...

Farmwifetwo, he probably does need to get into a social skills group. It probably wouldn't help a lot with the issues we're having here, but if he can at least work on some things, it'd probably be a good thing. I *HAVE* threatened to put him back in public school, but it's a fairly empty threat. That is a nightmare I don't even want to contemplate, and I *KNOW* they'd want him more heavily medicated than he is now, which is something else I don't want to deal with. So we slog onward. AMM, yes, I do think it's just a phase and it will pass, too, but UGH I'm tired of this one. Wendy, I'm sorry you're dealing with all this, too. Not fun. :(