I don't feel well today, and part of that, I'm sure, has to do with the fact that the last two weeks have been incredibly crappy and I'm sure the stress is just now trickling down into my system.
I read this Onion article yesterday (warning: It's The Onion... there is profanity and plenty of it), and while it made me laugh, it also made me a little sad.
I miss my girls. I miss going out. I had dinner with one friend last week, and it made me remember how much I love going out with half a dozen women and spending the evening laughing so hard we cry.
I haven't done that in far, far too long.
Part of that is my own fault, of course. I'm really good at making excuses rather than plans. When evening rolls around, I'm worn out. I want to read. I want to take a shower and climb into my pajamas at 7:30 p.m. and watch old movies. Whatever. I have a good chunk of introverted nature that is quite happy to never go anywhere.
I also have a good chunk of extroverted nature that withers when I go too long without seeing my friends.
The biggest problem is that my friends and I are all busy moms. We thought it was hard to escape when our kids were tiny and needed us "all the time," but really, they didn't need us that often. It just seemed that way. In reality, that was the easy time to get away. The kids didn't have sports events in the evenings. They went to bed earlier. They didn't have homework. Heck, even meals were simpler because when a child is 3, you can put a bowls of pasta and steamed veggies in front of them and they think they're at a 5-star restaurant. Now? Not so much. I have to fix a main dish and at least one side dish per meal or someone's going hungry... and that pasta better come with a sauce, and the veggies better have some seasoning on them. And all that means there are more dishes, more ingredients, and more effort involved. The amount of food my family of four goes through each week is staggering.
But that's another post.
I've heard rumors that when the kids get a little more independent, so do the parents. My best friend and I talk incessantly about being able to go to the gym together. I dream of morning coffee dates and going to the grocery store during daylight hours... without someone coming along to "help." I can't wait until I can make a doctor's appointment and not have to consider child care into the matter.
It may be that I am incredibly optimistic.
I'm not saying I want to be one of those 30-something-year-old moms who still think they're 21 and can drink, dress, and act like it. Far from it. But I'd be quite happy to be one of those 30-something-year-old moms who meets up with her friends at a local restaurant for dinner and a few drinks once in a while. I just need to unwind.
And soon. Before we all implode.