Just shoot me now. Please. It'd be a mercy killing, I promise. I can try to shoot you first if you'd like to have a self-defense plea when and if the cops show up.
We had our ENT appointment this morning. THAT was fun, assuming your definition of fun is Chinese water torture.
We arrived on time, in the rain, and I had some paperwork to fill out, so M2 looked at books and M1 was supposed to be working on some schoolwork I'd brought with me. He did that for a while, and then he got frustrated and apparently tossed his eraser into the air. I had no idea that it was gone, but I knew that he was having difficulty focusing on the assignment I'd given him, so I decided to switch subjects and do the 'hard' one at home. I handed him writing. He got five letters in and transposed two. He stopped. I asked him to fix it.
"I can't. I can't find my eraser."
"Where is it?"
"I don't know."
I figured it might have gotten shoved under the couch I was sitting on, so I asked him to check. No luck.
"Well, M1, where did it go?"
"I don't know. I tossed it and it rolled away."
"OK, well, that was a bad decision. I guess you're going to have to ask the receptionist if she has an eraser you can borrow."
Holy stinking heck. You'd have thought I had asked him to stand up and recite the Gettysburg Address naked. He started spinning on his knees in the middle of the tiny waiting room shrieking, "NO! NO! NO! NO!"
Have you ever seen an 8-year-old who's almost 5 feet tall do that? I don't recommend it.
I got him stopped and convinced him that the receptionist would not, in fact, turn into a banshee and fly through the window to eat him if he asked for a mere eraser (and she didn't), and then he settled back down.
And found his eraser under a chair.
Shortly after that, we got taken back into an exam room, and I stuck M2 in the chair first because usually she likes to show off to her brother at how well she does, and I knew the thing would probably be a bit noisy, and she doesn't mind noise.
I was SO wrong.
She freaked instantly, as soon as the ENT doc turned on the toothpick-width suction tube and started showing her how harmless it was by tickling her on the skin.
We swapped kids, and M1 seemed enthusiastic about showing up his little sister. That is, until he heard the sound, and then his shoulder started twitching up and trying to cover his ear.
It was useless. He started wigging out and crying, too, and M2 had huddled herself under a chair after I told her she couldn't actually leave the room, so the doctor and I gave up.
I'll be getting a call in the next day or so to schedule an appointment to use gas to put them both under to extract the berries.
Consider this a public service announcement to make sure you've trimmed all your hackberry trees so your children can't reach them. Apparently, hackberries are an expensive proposition.