Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Summer Does NOT Equal Relaxing

We're in the throes of summer now.  It may not officially begin until next week, but I can assure you that Mother Nature and Oklahoma have combined forces to remind us that 'hot' is the keyword of the season.  To be fair, it's nowhere near as nasty as it was already this time last year, and I'll take it, but our air conditioner kicked into high gear this week, which of course means that one of them is now not working particularly well and needs a check-up.

'Tis the season.

Anxiety Girl's anxiety is running full tilt as well.  If our schedule was quiet and consistent, I think all would be well.  However, it is not.  Each Sunday she writes down the things that are to happen during the next week.  During the school year, these things stay fairly regular - swim, violin, even laundry make her list.  This week, though, she's losing her mind, and her calendar reflects it.  For instance, I'd planned to go to the pool on Friday.  However, due to circumstances beyond my control, it's going to be easier if we go on Thursday.  It will make Thursday a crazy day, but we'll wind up at the pool and get to chill there for a bit, and I hope that will help.  Anyway, she had to change that on her calendar and add several things - a vet appointment for one of the cats and a trip this weekend with my mother being some of the larger examples - and it's messing with her head.  She's developing a series of OCD-like tics that are getting bigger and more noticeable the crazier our schedule gets, and this week is just about as hectic as can possibly be.  The next time I have to ask her to stop pushing on her eyes and swinging her head in circles... or to stop pacing manically around the island in the kitchen... poor girl.

We visited a friend today whom we haven't seen yet this summer, and while it was good to see her and her kiddos, the tragedy occurred when our girls asked us when they can have a sleepover.  The answer involved much consulting of calendars and discussion, but the end result was... July.  Seriously.

I also realized today that we start school in a little more than a month, and our time between now and then suddenly seems full, leaving us little room for chilling out and doing some of the projects I kind of wanted to do.  Does it really matter if we do them?  No.  And I'm not going to stress out about it.  I simply wish that time didn't seem to fly by so quickly.  I wish that our friends weren't as busy as we are so that we'd have more of a chance to connect.

Of course, when we start school again, it will still be summer.  After we finish our work each day we will still be available to go visit friends, go to the pool, and even take a few weekend trips before the summer season is over.  Summer won't be over, not by a long shot.

Still, time in general is moving too quickly.  It breaks my heart and makes me proud of my kiddos at the same time, that they have great friends and great things that they want to do.  I just want to slow down a little, absorb the beauty of each moment, and breathe before moving to the next thing.

Perhaps for the rest of the summer, my - and M2's - focus will be on mindfulness.  I think it can only help us all.

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