Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Dear Oz

Dear Oz,

Be warned that when you come home today, the house will smell like lemon verbena. I managed to make it to Yankee Candle while running errands today and combined a sale and a coupon and birthday money to create candle bliss.

You should also know that I may or may not be shipping you to the store on your way home to pick up some PediaSure for M1, because apparently he's gone completely off his feed thanks to the meds. So far today he has consumed the following: One toaster scramble, one glass of apple juice, one free cookie from Wal-Mart, a few bites of leftover paella, and some cheese and crackers that I allowed him to take to his room. You know our son. This is not normal. I am enjoying the great irony of having one child who needs extra calories to supplement his current diet and one child who has to watch fat and cholesterol in an attempt to lower the latter. Oh, the hoops I jump through...

Thank you again for the lovely footstool/storage unit. Perhaps we should get you a matching one and nix the ottoman. Then the cats couldn't hide under it and attack feet at random. (I say this in jest, of course. How could I seat as many people at my teas if I didn't have the ottoman to shove in front of the television?) Also, thank you for being the egg Sherpa today. My agoraphobic nature is grateful. Speaking of which, I did suck it up and return the silverware... and promptly forgot to look for a replacement set.

Finally, please call at your earliest convenience and let me know which you would prefer for dinner: Burritos and refried beans, pork chops with stuffing and salad, or minestrone with rolls. If I do not hear from you by 4 p.m., I may assume the worst and refuse to cook altogether. Blame the candle. It's called Island Spa, and I think I'm on vacation.

Love,

Your Darling Wifums

P.S. Look! I have a sense of humor again! :)

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