Reading

This is in no way related to homeschooling.  I felt I should clarify that right now in case someone gets all excited that I might be talking about kids and reading in the same post, because I'm not going to do that, unless you want to discuss the book Dither Farm, because it was like OMG MY FAV'RIT BOOK EVAR when I was about M1's age, and I just found out it's available as an e-book and I had to download it and re-read it and, yes, it is just as good now as it was then, which I think is saying something because how many times have you gone back and re-read books you loved as a child and thought to yourself, "Just what in the sam-hell was I smokin'?!?"

Seriously.  Dither Farm.
Fun for kids of all ages.

And that, my friends, was a run-on sentence.

Moving on.

No, wait.  Before moving on, I should warn you: the rest of this post is link-heavy.  Click at your own risk.  Preferably right-click so you can open the links in a new tab and keep reading and exploring at the same time.  Rabbit holes can be dangerous, especially when there are books involved.

Now we're really moving on.

Really.

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Having polished off Dither Farm as well as the library books I'd checked out (specifically Isaac's Storm [nonfiction] and When Christ and His Saints Slept [historical fiction]) and a nonfiction book on the Carolingians that I felt the sudden urge to revisit, I'm actually down to only two books that I'm currently reading.

This is the smallest number of books in my Goodreads 'Currently Reading' section that I've had in months.  I have a long list of books I want to read, but at the same time, I find that the majority at the top of the list are books in a series - Christian Cameron's 'Tyrant' series (these haven't been released as hard copy in the United States, so Kindle is my only option), for example, and the rest of Sharon Kay Penman's trilogy on Henry II.  Some books that I want to read - Fingal O'Reilley, Irish Doctor and the third book in the Discovery of Witches trilogy - aren't out yet; the latter doesn't even have a publishing date.  Also, as you probably noticed, most these books are also historical fiction.  That is my favorite genre, but still... I want to branch out.  This week I'm reading Craig Ferguson's book Between the Bridge and the River and Sir Walter Scott's Rob Roy and have requested The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane (warning: site has sound) from the library.

What are your favorite reads right now?  Any suggestions?  And if you're on Goodreads, add me as a friend and I'll go peruse your reading lists!

Reading List (Your Mileage May Vary)

One of the things that I do during our school year is request books for the kids.  I only request one every other week so that nothing gets overwhelming, and I take into account the kids' interests as well as the fact that I want them to read 'good' books.  Both kids are pretty good about picking good books, not just brain candy, but that doesn't always mean that the good books sound appealing at first.  There's no way my son would have read Little Women on his own and no way my daughter would have picked up The Phantom Tollbooth, either, but they both really like these books now.  Sometimes they don't finish the books - I don't insist on it.  I ask that they give the book a fair shake and at least try to read it, but finishing isn't a requirement.  There have been a few flops but not many.

This year, M1 will be reading several books that I suspect will take him longer than two weeks to read, so his list isn't as long as M2's.  He's in 'fifth' grade and she's in 'third,' but again, I adapt the list to their ability and keep in mind what they have and haven't read already.  We do discuss the books, especially if I know that there are difficult themes in them, but I don't do anything in-depth.  It's simply discussion.  As they get older, I may bring these books back for further reading and discussion, but familiarity with the story will help them dig deeper when the time comes.

Without any more ado,  The Reading Lists:

M1:
The Giver
True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle
Eragon
The Iliad
Ender's Game
Fahrenheit 451
Lord of the Flies
The Odyssey
Macbeth 
Romeo and Juliet
On My Honor
Schooled
Murder on the Orient Express
Joyful Noise (poetry book)
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Beowulf (this is actually a reread for him, but he likes it)

M2:
Frindle
Black Ships Before Troy
The Fortune-Tellers
All-of-a-Kind Family
Tales of a Fourth-Grade Nothing
Tuck Everlasting
Little Women
The Secret Garden
The Witch of Blackbird Pond
James and the Giant Peach
Night of the Twisters
The Penderwicks
Caddie Woodlawn
Harriet the Spy
The Westing Game
My Dog May Be a Genius (poetry book)
The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
The Cricket in Times Square

100 Books

I checked "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath out from the library this week.  I've never read it before.  I feel like somehow I missed something by not reading it.  And that made me think of all the other books I've heard of and know passing references to but haven't actually read myself.

It's an embarrassingly long list.

So I sat down yesterday and decided to make myself a Top 100 To-Read list of books I should have read by now but haven't.  Do I think I'll get all these books read this year?  Hardly.  Are there tons of books not on this list that are classics that I have already read?  You betcha.  Was it a difficult list to compile?  Heavens, yes.  It's amazing how hard it is to find a good list of classics on the Internet.  If you do a search for "top 100 books," oh, yes, you'll get a million links, but most of the lists are for women only, men only, the 20th century only, and I didn't want to limit myself! 

There are a few on this list that I actually have read before but plan to read again.  When reading something as an assignment in the 8th, 9th, 10th grades, one doesn't have context.  There is no meaning.  How was I supposed to understand Les Miserables when I had no knowledge of French history?  I've noted those books where they're listed.

Obviously I don't expect you to do this.  Your reading repertoire is yours.  You may abhor the idea of reading classics altogether, or you may have read many of these but never touched Shakespeare, Jack London, Jules Verne, or Edgar Allen Poe (just a few of the authors who do not appear on this list because I've devoured their books with the ferocity of a rabid badger).  I'm not a huge fan of philosophy, so there's no Kierkegaard, Rousseau, or Freud (though I do list Plato, Machiavelli, Thoreau and Sun Tzu).  Regardless of your thoughts on the list itself, what would you put on yours?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

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Top 100 Books to Read

1.  Anything by J.R.R. Tolkien - this is the only author listed as an author... I have to admit I've never read a single one of his works.  I should probably remedy that.
2.  Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
3.  (REREAD) To Kill a Mockingbird
4.  1984
5.  Bhagavad Gita
6.  Catch-22
7.  Wuthering Heights
8.  Rebecca
9.  Catcher in the Rye
10.  War & Peace
11.  Gone with the Wind
12.  Tess of the D'Urbervilles
13.  Middlemarch
14.  The Grapes of Wrath
15.  David Copperfield
16.  Watership Down
17.  (REREAD) The Great Gatsby
18.  (REREAD) Animal Farm
19.  Anna Karenina - I'm actually about 2/3 of the way through this one but need to pull out the Kindle and just finish it off once and for all
20.  Crime & Punishment
21.  Memoirs of a Geisha
22.  Lord of the Flies
23.  Brave New World - I have a vague feeling I've read this and 1984 before, but I can't be sure, so I'm adding them to the list
24.  On the Road
25.  Vanity Fair
26.  Madame Bovary
27.  (REREAD) Les Miserables
28.  All the King's Men
29.  Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret
30.  Atonement
31.  The Qur'an
32.  I, Claudius
33.  Invisible Man
34.  Midnight's Children
35.  One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
36.  Rabbit, Run
37.  Slaughterhouse Five
38.  The Joy Luck Club
39.  East of Eden
40.  The Communist Manifesto
41.  The English Patient
42.  Portrait of a Lady
43.  Don Quixote
44.  War of the Worlds
45.  Gulliver's Travels
46.  The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
47.  Dr. Zhivago
48.  All Quiet on the Western Front
49.  Fahrenheit 451
50.  Epic of Gilgamesh
51.  Faust
52.  The Sound and the Fury
53.  John Milton's 'Paradise' books
54.  The Phantom Tollbooth
55.  The Art of War
56.  Candide
57.  Doctor Faustus
58.  The Importance of Being Earnest
59.  The Hunchback of Notre Dame - like the others, I have a vague feeling I've read it, but I don't recall for sure
60.  Kim
61.  The Man in the Iron Mask - given my Dumas obsession, this is surprising, but I haven't read this one
62.  Lady Chatterley's Lover
63.  Moll Flanders
64.  Pilgrim's Progress
65.  Plato's "Republic"
66.  Tom Jones
67.  Walden
68.  A Streetcar Named Desire
69.  The Witch of Blackbird Pond
70.  The Color Purple
71.  Cat's Cradle
72.  In Cold Blood
73.  The Jungle
74.  Beloved
75.  Schindler's List
76.  Atlas Shrugged
77.  Brideshead Revisited
78.  For Whom the Bell Tolls
79.  Machiavelli's "The Prince"
80.  Into the Wild
81.  The Maltese Falcon
82.  Robin Hood
83.  William Tell
84.  Mutiny on the Bounty
85.  Rob Roy
86.  The Time Traveller's Wife
87.  The Book Thief
88.  The Call of Cthulhu
89.  A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
90.  Night
91.  Don Juan
92.  Nostradamus' "Prophecies"
93.  The Once and Future King
94.  Die Nibelungenlied
95.  The Origin of Species
96.  A Wrinkle in Time
97.  Death of a Salesman
98.  Cold Sassy Tree
99.  All Creatures Great and Small
100.  Our Town

:)

Learning to Shut Up

I'll admit it.  I'm not very good at shutting up.  I enjoy having the last word in an argument.  I'm also not very good at letting things go.  I totally have a Type A personality and like everything to be 'just so.'  (In other words, I like things my way or the highway.)

I'm also raising two children who are very much like me.

In a lot of ways, I'm glad that they're strong-willed and have specific ways that they like things and that they don't take crap from anyone.  On the other hand, it's going to be a complete PITA to parent them when they are teens.  M1 is already taking those first baby steps toward a full-on teenage brattitude, and I know darn good and well that if I don't start preparing NOW, the next, oh, 10 years of my life could be sheer hell.

So when, a couple weekends ago, Oz suggested dropping me off at the bookstore while he took the kids for breakfast, I agreed.  Mostly because M1 was displaying behavior that would have caused an apostle to lose his temper (especially John, but I'm getting off track here), but also because it had occurred to me that there might just be a book out there that could help me get through these teen years without completely losing it.

And I found this:

I'll say right now that if you can't handle reading, imagining, or dealing with profanity, this is not the book for you.  If you want a book that provides a Christian perspective on parenting a teen, this is not the book for you.  But if you're in the mood for a sarcastic, witty, and perhaps a tad overdramatic book about how to react to teens, this is a decent guide.

Things I like:
1.  I like the way the author imagines actual conversations and inserts a teen's 'thoughts' into the work.  It reads smoothly, and I've laughed out loud several times.  While there may be some overdramatization (unless you have a really dramatic teen), the points are well-made and effective.
2.  The tools that he demonstrates are simple and hopefully effective.  He opens the book by stating the obvious:  We're not allowed to beat our kids like parents in generations past did, yet we're expected to turn out the same quality of child.  How does one do this?  And he goes on to suggest ways to do so.  Realistically.
3.  He admits that nobody is perfect.  He allows for those days when you really can't handle one. more. sassy. comment.  He admits that there are times when parents are going to change their minds in the middle of an argument just to shut the kid up.  It's mightily refreshing to get an author who understands that nobody's perfect.  Including himself.  Like I said, he's realistic.
4.  He attempts to imagine many different scenarios.  Boys, girls, at home, in public, in the car, at school... he covers his bases.  There are entire chapters dedicated to school, sex, electronics, etc.

Things I don't care for quite as much:
1.  The overly dramatic tone.  I have never met a teen who would repeatedly tell their parent to eff off.  I'm sure they're out there, but for heaven's sake.  And I absolutely dare my child to ever call me a bitch to my face.  I understand why he ramped up the drama - so that parents of children who fit that description won't feel like theirs are over the top - but sometimes I just want to roll my eyes.
2.  The 'wait until later' approach.  In other words, pick one small battle at a time - such as saying 'no' to a request or giving the child a chore to do - and deal with anything else, like disrespect, name-calling, etc., later.  While I like the idea, I'm not entirely sure of its practicality.  With a child who will snipe at everything and who has very limited windows of calmness, it seems like a good recipe to pick fights 'later.'  I'm not sure what an alternative answer would be, though, because he also makes a good point that dealing with these things 'now' will also escalate matters.  So this could just be something I don't like simply because it's a tough pill to swallow.  See Paragraph #1 in this blog post.
3.  The perspective on sex, drugs, and drinking.  Again, I know why the author did this.  He did this for the same reason that he uses profanity - to help parents who are dealing with it feel like they aren't alone.  But the author assumes throughout most of the book (except in the chapters about these specific topics) that teens are drinking, having sex, and probably smoking pot.  I find it a little unrealistic.  But again, I get it.

So overall, I'm happy with the book.  The things I don't like are pretty minor when compared to the things I do.  I know it isn't a guide for all parents and all situations and all things, because each family is different, but it's a good starting point.  And for now, that's what I need.

You Know You're a [Insert Label] When...

You could call yourself a book junkie.  A nerd.  A literary connoisseur.

Or a homeschooler.

But whatever you call yourself, you know you've got a serious book addiction when your friend texts you to let you know the local library system has a brand-new free phone app (you know, the one you e-mailed the library suggesting they implement months ago) and you totally geek out.

Oh, to be able to request books, renew books, download books, and all the other good stuff, all on the fly.

THIS is heaven.

More Light Reading

Well, it's not "tomorrow," but I'm finally getting around to this.  It's been a long week.  Let me start with some of the books that I started reading for M1 when I first learned he had Asperger's.  Ironically, I never worried about his ADHD and don't have a single book relating to that.  For some reason, I've never doubted my ability to raise a child with ADHD... it's the Asperger's that gets me.

This is to Asperger's syndrome what "The Bipolar Child" is to bipolar disorder.  It's an amazing resource, and it's as useful for adults with Asperger's as it is to parents of children with the disorder.  However, it wasn't very helpful for M1.  So I got a couple books for him:  First this one

 and more recently,

The first one is written by a boy with Asperger's.  M1 really enjoyed it and was thrilled to learn that there really are other kids out there who understand what he feels and what it's like to live with the way he thinks.  The second book is a workbook that he and I are working through together.  It helps both of us.  He gains insight into the way he reacts to the world, and I gain insight into ways to help him.  He can't wait to finish it and show it to all his relatives so they can help him when he gets frustrated.

That's all we have for his Asperger's, but since he's been struggling with his allergies this summer, I purchased the Kindle version of this book:

I'm not done reading it yet (I'm only reading it during swim sessions), but so far, it's been quite enlightening.  It's breaking down the biological aspects of allergies and asthma, what the short- and long-term effects are, and - once I get there - will discuss treatment.  I know there are a million different books on these subjects, but I chose this one because I wanted to start at the beginning... the hows and whys and understand what a treatment needs to do to get rid of the cause rather than just the symptoms. 

Oh, and just for good measure, one last book:

Because all kids need to have fun.  And some days, so do their mamas.

Enjoy your weekend... and stay cool!

A Little Light Reading: Bipolar Edition

I lost some hair off the right side of my head today.  I received a 6-inch scratch down my left calf.  Tomorrow the bruises on my hips and right foot will probably make themselves visible.

I'm not complaining.  They are what happens when you have a child with a mood disorder.  Battle wounds, if you will.  Today was a bad day, to be fair, but still.  Battle wounds.

When I decided to blog tonight, I considered a few topics.  I thought about writing an extremely lengthy and involved post about seeing both M2's psychiatrist and therapist on Tuesday, but I don't really want to rehash it all.  I'd rather focus on the positive.  I thought about describing the beautiful humidity-giving rain that we received yesterday and today and ignoring the mood issue altogether, but I couldn't simply brush off everything that's happened this week... today, particularly.  It was when I looked over at my end table and saw the books I'd hauled off my bookshelf that inspiration struck. 

Books. 

Reading. 

Education.

The following list contains books I've read while trying to figure out what's going on with M2.  This is definitely not a comprehensive list of books on stubborn children or those with mood disorders; in fact, I'd love more suggestions.  But it's a start.  If you're struggling with a child and begin to suspect bipolar disorder, these are some suggestions.

This was the first book I read when M2 started having her fits.  I really like Dobson's take on parenting... most of the time.  I own a couple of his other books as well.  But this one, while it might be useful for most children, didn't encompass what I deal with.  It's helpful with M1 on occasion, but in general... no.  Still, it's a good book, and I'm glad I have it.

After that, someone suggested this book:

"The Explosive Child" is, I have discovered, one of the most popular books for parents of children with mood disorders, ODD, etc.  When I first read it, I thought it was sheer bunk.  It's extremely simplistic, basically breaking all potential solutions into three categories, and after I read it, I thought, "What a piece of crap!"  I thought about tossing the book and even laid it in the pile to go to Goodwill.  However... and this is a big however... I found myself mentally referring to it on a regular basis.  After a couple of weeks, I put it back on my bookshelf, where it's lived ever since.  I have an inkling that the book will become even more useful as the kids' teen hormones kick in... I'm already using some of the methods with M1 when he gets angry and disrespectful.  It may be simplistic, but the methods do work.  Mostly.  There are days when nothing's going to work, and I'm going to have to understand that, too.

This book came into my home when someone first mentioned bipolar being a diagnostic possibility.  It is largely considered the 'bible' for many kids with bipolar disorder.  It's extensive, exhaustive, and covers everything from the diagnostic process to how bipolar works biologically to medication options to inpatient treatment to... well, everything.  It's an amazing book, but sometimes it's just a little too much.  So when M2's psychiatrist suggested this book,

I got it.  It covers a lot of the same topics as "The Bipolar Child," but it takes a lighter approach and talks more about comorbid conditions, such as the anxiety that M2 also has.

So that's that.  I hope this helps someone.  If anyone has suggestions, I'm always happy to hear them, because heaven only knows I'm going to need all the resources and help I can get.

Tomorrow... books I own regarding Asperger's disorder, sensory issues, and even allergies.  In other words, books I've read for M1.

Oh, the Things I Teach

Since Oz left on a trip for work today and won't be back till late Friday, the kids and I had a lazy day. We watched 'Fantasia 2000.' M1 made bubble gum from a kit he had. M2 created designs with Perler beads, which Oz had never even heard of until this week. That kind of blew my mind. We did do laundry and M2 practiced her violin, but that was the extent of the 'work' around here today.

Spring Break is loverly.

After lunch, I broke out The Book. I have been reading the Little House books to my children. I started this months ago, so you'd think that we would be well into the series by now, but no. Life happened, we skipped a few weeks (or more), and we're just now in the middle of "Little House on the Prairie."

The third or fourth chapter that we read today was entitled Fever 'n' Ague. Halfway through, Dr. Tan appeared with his magical powder that was so, so bitter. I interrupted myself - I do this frequently to explain references or further clarify something the kids don't understand, and they often ask questions, too - to let the kids know that I'd tell them what the powder was once we got to the end of the chapter.

I reached the end of the chapter, where it explains that the Ingalls family had caught malaria from the mosquito swarms, and stopped.

"What was it??" M1 instantly wanted to know. "What was the powder?"

I got up and wandered to the kitchen. The children followed. I reached up on top of the fridge and got down a small glass bottle with a yellow label.

I showed them the bottle and asked M1 to read the small print under the company name. "Contains quinine," he read. "What's quinine?"

"That's what the powder had in it," I explained. "Quinine can also be mixed into a liquid. It can help treat malaria. Even mixed into a liquid and in a lesser concentration, it's still pretty bitter, though. Want to try it?"

M1 was game; M2 was skeptical but not about to be outdone by her brother. I broke out a small glass and poured a tiny amount into the bottom. I offered it to M1. He wet his lips but didn't really try it. I laughed. "If you're going to try it, TRY it," I told him. "Don't do it halfway." He grimaced but sucked up his courage and took a real sip.

[pause]

"I LIKE it!" he exclaimed.

"WHAT?? No, you don't," I protested. "It's okay to not like it. I don't like it, either."

"No, I really like it!" he insisted. To prove his point, he finished the glass.

I couldn't stop laughing. I got out a second glass and poured an equal amount for M2, who completely hated it and wouldn't take more than the tiniest sip, even after I added some lime juice. M1 was more than happy to finish that up for her.

Now I know what to hide when he gets older. No gin for him!

Slummy am I

I've gone from unanimous to slummy. And before you think that's a bad thing, let me reassure you, it's bad. It's just not as bad as it could be.

See, I just finished reading the book "Slummy Mummy" by Fiona Neill.

I'm not much of a modern literature person. Most books I read are set well before the 1800s. OK, either that or they at least pertain to something that happened well before the 1800s. But a friend of mine recommended "Slummy Mummy" and when it caught my eye on the shelf at the library last week (it has a pale blue cover and is quite eye-catching), I snagged it.

And I read it.

And I breathed a sigh of relief that marriage is still a solid place where my husband isn't anywhere near as OCD as the husband in the book but still does things the same way every day and tolerates the chaos that I bring into the house. Even though I'm the OCD one, it still feels like I'm also the one letting in all the chaos, too. How is this possible?

A newspaper headline of the book would read "Mom Survives Midlife Crisis." If there was a subtitle, it would read "Survival of 3 Boys Still Questionable."

I really loved the book.

It made me have hope and brought me a lot of peace. The best part was being able to relate to the main character, even if that was disturbing at times. For example, she has one go-to dress that she wears to all semi/formal social occasions. She says that at one point it fit her beautifully but that over the years as her hips and waist have broadened, it now wraps higher and higher and fits a little more snugly each time.

Preach it, sister.

She talks about how she used to have a "real" career as a mom on a news show. I used to be a reporter for a small-town newspaper. Not quite the same level of prestige, but there's still that "used to have a life" element about it. Now my life revolves around feeding various critters smaller than I am and wondering what's for dinner and pondering if my current stock of bras can last another season because I'm not in the mood to buy more until I lose the 15 pounds I've put on this year... and I have a boy with me at all times who's just at the age to think Victoria's Secret is verboten and get the giggles at all the mannequins in lingerie.

She talks about all the foot-in-mouth moments that inevitably happen when you're a mom, like blurting out the answers to questions meant for kids in group settings... or being politely pulled aside by other parents and/or teachers because one of the children is doing something socially inappropriate yet again. Not that I've been there, either.

Never.

Not me.

*snort* NOT.

Mostly, the character gets it (I feel the need to use lots of italics for emphasis today). She understands that even as we moms enter the Middle Ages, aka the Dark Ages, we still need things to be shaken up once in a while... but not too much. She correctly portrays the craziness of a single day in the life of any parent and the frustration we feel as moms when our husbands agree to "babysit" for us and get more mileage out of one night with the kids than we get for an entire month... or sometimes year... of the same thing. She relates to how family vacations usually aren't and refers to more put-together parents as "Yummy Mummy" or "Alpha Mum." You know who they are. I can list more than half a dozen of them.

I'll shut up now, because the book is much, much more than I've made it sound. All I'll say is... go read it.

Thanksgiving Gift?

I think so.

My novel now has a loose working name. It is called "Two-Faced."

-----

I have also worked up the nerve to offer you another excerpt. I'll need help with this part if I ever get around to finishing the general body of the novel and try to edit it, but for now, this is what I have. The setting is that the main character, Catherine, is now 10. (She was 7 in my previous post.) She is now being admitted to a psychiatric facility after going off her medication and experiencing a severe backslide. She's still quite emotional and is about to meet her in-house therapist for the first time.

-----

I shut my eyes against the din of two people talking at once. It was overwhelming, and my emotions were rising. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to scream or cry. I clenched my hands and gritted my teeth and then realized that all around me was silent. The noise had stopped. I exhaled before I even realized that I had been holding my breath.

I peeked through one eyelid. Regina and my mother were holding stock-still, watching me. My mother didn't look happy; she had her mouth set in its typical line of anger, and every couple of seconds she would shoot Regina a look of daggers. Regina never turned to see it, though. She was holding one hand up for silence, not moving at all. She was just watching me and breathing steadily in and out. I relaxed my fists and unconsciously matched my breathing to hers. My eyes opened, and I faced the women again. Regina lowered her hand and took one last deep respiration. My mother still kept her lips pursed, but she remained quiet.

"Catherine," Regina stated my name slowly and clearly. Her voice was low. She kept her eyes on mine. "I'm sorry that we frightened you. Would you like to finish your nap?"

I kept still and watched. This woman intrigued me with her ability to defuse a situation. I felt calm inside, which almost scared me. I'd never met anyone before who could calm me down so thoroughly and so instantly. Even my own father usually had to go through several attempts before he could reach me through the fog of emotion. Kevin, for all he had been helpful, had never seen me at my utter worst, on the verge of meltdown, ready to damage things and others and myself. Regina was something else. Her tiny frame didn't matter. She was powerful.

"Cather-," my mother started to say, but she got cut short by another abrupt movement of Regina's arm.

"Catherine, I'm Regina Martin," she fully introduced herself this time. Her voice was still low and slow, and I almost had to strain to hear her. "I'm your therapist here at Boyd. I'll be back for an actual session after supper, but I wanted to come by and say hello, and I'd like to know if you need anything right now."

She paused. I felt the silence lengthen, but it wasn't a tense, heavy silence like the one between my mother and me. It was simply silence, a quiet that let me hear the fluorescent lights burning. She meant to wait me out, I thought, so I determined not to answer, despite the growing grimness in my mother's face. Suddenly Regina nodded. "I can see you're doing well. Excellent. I'd be happy to get you anything you need, or if I'm not available, someone else can do it. There are several wonderful members of our nursing staff on the floor at all times, so if you just press this button here" – she indicated the nursing button on the bed – "we'd be happy to help you out. Okay?"

Another deep, patient silence. I wanted her to get irritated, but those dimples never dimmed. How frustrating. Suddenly she nodded again. There seemed to be a certain amount of time that she had set before she nodded, and I wondered how many patients had tested her patience, how many silent children she'd seen and dealt with. Clearly I wasn’t a threat. She could afford to wait. It wasn't like I was going anywhere. She turned to my mother.

"Mrs. Beatty, would you like to wait for Mr. Beatty in here or in the atrium? You'll need to leave at or before 4 p.m., but till then, you're free to be in either location."

I noticed how neatly Regina pinned my mother to one location to another. Boundaries were set, but she tried to make it sound like freedom. I wondered how often she did that, too. I decided to be unpredictable.

Numbers

NaNoWriMo update:

40,269 words.

78 pages.

Nowhere near done.

Methinks this novel is going to take a tad longer than November to finish, although now that I'm started, I'm rather obsessed with seeing it through to the end.

Sucking It Up

So two days ago I promised that yesterday I would post an excerpt from my NaNoWriMo novel.

I meant to. I really, truly did. I even picked out the section that I wanted to share, which given the fact that I've only written 12,000-ish words, didn't take long.

But then I chickened out. I've never had anyone read anything I've written outside of a school setting. I know I can put a sentence together in all its grammatical correctness and make it technically accurate, though occasionally I throw phrases together like 'grammatical correctness,' but I know it's made up and am choosing to use it anyway. But you guys read this, so I know that you don't mind that, right? The *real* reason I didn't post it is because I can hear my mother's voice in my head, and she's being my mother, which means that she's going through every word I'm writing and asking, "Is that what your childhood was like? Is that me? Is that you? Who is that?" because she's my mother and she always overanalyzes things.

It's just who she is. I get that. And to paraphrase one of my favorite movies, she's the voice in my head telling me I can do better. But she overanalyzes.

So now, because I have arguments in my head that will never happen in real life, I am trying to negate any arguments by telling myself, "Be the duck." Let it all roll off. Ignore the fears which are probably unfounded, anyway.

And post the blamin' excerpt!

So here it is folks, in all its unedited glory. My main character - the narrator - is writing the story of her life with bipolar disorder. In this scene, she's seven years old and is eavesdropping on her parents through a crack in the door as they debate whether or not to take her to see a pediatric psychiatrist.

-----

My mother's silence filled the room, as cold as the fluorescent light above. She disapproved of doctors, and 'Archer' wasn't a good name in her book, I could tell. She judged a lot of a person's character by their name. That's why I was never allowed to have a nickname. On the first day of school, when everyone got to state their preferred name, I never got asked what my nickname was. The teachers knew. My mother had inevitably gotten to them first.

"Catherine," she'd instruct the teachers. "Not Katie, not Cat, not Cathy. Not Marie, either, because that's not her first name, it's only her middle name. Catherine, and nothing else. It's a good name, and I want her to use it."

I had been the only child in kindergarten whose name was longer than the blank on the paper for writing it. It had taken me months to master the spelling.

My father sighed again, and I heard the chair creak as he leaned forward again and started to turn back to his work.

"I'll make the appointment if you like, Martha, to absolve you of any responsibility, but I don't think being firmer is going to do any good. Look at all we've done so far. She has so little compared to all the other the kids her age, we've been consistent with her since she was born, and still she's angry. No. I'll make the appointment, and I'll take her if need be."

My mother straightened, and I readied myself for the dash back to my room.

"No, Frank," she stated flatly, "Since you insist on this course, I'll take her. You can come if you like, but I want to be there to see this doctor for myself."

My father nodded silently, and I vaulted for my room. When I reached it, I shut the door and slid down against it. My thoughts tried to roll themselves around all I'd heard.

Pediatric psychiatry. Foreign words in the English language, I had no idea what it all meant. 'Doctor' was easier for me to understand, and when I put that together with my mom talking on the phone to Pastor Schulz, I knew I'd be going somewhere I didn't want to go. I didn't like being angry or sad all the time, but I didn't think there was anything wrong with me. True, I didn't have many friends at school, but that was nothing to me. It wasn't like I could bring them home, so I didn't really talk to too many people. I'd play games with them, talk to them if I needed to, and come home. It was a ritual. I sensed somehow that this doctor was going to mess things up.

I didn't like change. I decided I didn't want to go to this doctor, and if they tried to make me, well... we'd see about that.

Book of the Week

The Railway Children by Edith Nesbit

Good schtuff.

Book(s) of the Week

"The Saturdays" by Elizabeth Enright

We also have a secondary book this week. I didn't mean to have two, but when I found it on the shelf, I couldn't resist.

Darn skippy. I loved that book.

Book of the Week

The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White

Our book of the week this week revolves around animals, being different, and music!  Since I'm a big music person, we've been listening to a lot of Louis Armstrong to go along with this.  The kids are really enjoying it, and M1 has been focusing on listening to the trumpet licks.

I heart jazz.

Book of the Week

Davy Crockett: His Own Story by (who else?) David Crockett.

And oh, yes, I did have to hunt down "The Ballad of Davy Crockett" and play (and sing) it for the boy. And he wanted to know what a 'bar' was that Davy supposedly killed when he was 3.

Literal boy strikes again :)

Book of the Week

Caddie Woodlawn, the story of a girl who lives in Wisconsin and is irrepressible. She reminds me of Laura Ingalls, whom M1 already loves. I'm curious to see how he takes to this one.

Deconstructing Wha..???

Meet Deconstructing Penguins. Great title, isn't it? It came highly recommended for kids M1's age on a homeschool forum that I frequent, so I bought it.

And then I read it.

Deconstructing Penguins, here on out referred to as DP because that title may only be two words but it's a pain in the backside to type repeatedly, follows the journey of a book club for elementary school students and their parents. In other words, they teach 7-year-olds how to analyze a book!

The literatus inside me peed a little bit from excitement.

I love the idea of being able to teach M1 that there's more going on inside a book than just words on a page. Love it. I had no clue about literature analysis until I was a sophomore in high school. Granted, I had an absolutely astounding English teacher that year and I learned a TON, but it was tough stuff. I still can't read Emily Dickenson without flashbacks, and I strongly suspect that I'll never be able to read "The Crucible" again, either. To be fair, though, both of those might have more to do with the teacher than actual psychological trauma, because she dressed up as Emily Dickenson for some of our readings (she had a particular passion for the woman) and, well, the phrase, "I saw Goody [teacher's surname] with the Devil!" still rings in my ears.

She also had French manicured fingernails, drove a black BMW, and had a disabled son. She was very memorable, and she was very good people and a great teacher.

I digress.

I know for a fact that no matter what age I introduce the idea of symbolism to M1, he will have a tough time with it. He is literal. Sometimes I have to walk out of the room and take a deep breath to deal with the depth of his literal interpretations. If Oz catches me and gives me his quizzical look, I just say, "Literal Boy is being literal again," and he understands. So if I ask M1 what happens in the book Charlotte's Web, he can give me a play-by-play of the entire book, and I'm about 99% sure that he quotes phrases straight out from the text. I know he does when we rehash a history or science lesson. It's a side effect of Asperger's, so I understand where it's coming from, but it just makes my job that much harder because in order to get him to successfully look beyond the black-and-white - in more ways than one - it's going to take a lot of work.

This is where DP steps in. While I don't agree with the book's definitions of protagonist and antagonist, the PROCESS is what's important here. To be able to teach kids terms like setting, character, climax, theme - in other words, to be able to break down a book into its parts from a whole - and have them actually understand what is meant, is huge. Huge, I say.

Is it going to be easy?

Ah, there's the rub.

Heck, no. And I don't intend to pursue this actively or often, either. What I would like to do is pick one book every three or four months and pick one part of it to examine. For example, one of M1's favorite books is My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George. It's one of my favorites, too, and his copy was actually MY copy from when I was young. So I'll probably start there. And we'll examine the setting, using the detective method from DP, starting with WHERE and ending with WHY.

My fingers are crossed. This may be an Epic Fail plan because I refuse to make him despise reading, and I know literature analysis can do that if it's pushed too hard, so I plan to tread lightly. I just want him to love books as much as I do and be able to understand them, and if DP is able to help me get there, I'm all for giving it a go! Hopefully I'll remember to come back and update with how it all goes; somebody remind me if I don't!

Book of the Week

This week's book is... *drumroll, please*...



Yay!

Book of the Week

Now that school is back in session, I'm really going to try to keep up with things this year and post about actual educational schtuff. That's not to say I won't be posting about other things. I'm sure my wandering mind will take care of that, and I have a recipe waiting in the wings to be shared. But today will be the first of many installments of...

Wait for it...

The Book of the Week.

I know you're shocked.

As a way to broaden M1's fictional horizons and get him to start actually talking about the books he reads, I've started "assigning" books. He'll read them; we'll talk about them; and if he's inspired, he might continue with the rest of the books (if it's a series) or find more books in the same genre. We'll just see how it goes.

For the first week, his book is



Now. How sad is it that I didn't even know this was a book, let alone a series, until about two months ago?

Call me Ignorant. I'm going to swipe it before M1 is done with it and give it a read myself. I'm looking forward to it.