Thanksgiving and Giving Thanks

So yesterday was Thanksgiving.  The kids were out of school all week, so I asked them to clean out their closets, which was, in a twisted sort of way, meant to make them grateful for what they have.  And it worked, because they got rid of a few things, some of which had LONG overstayed their welcome, and told me that now all the stuff they have in their closets is stuff they love.  This makes me happy, and it makes them happy, and now I feel like the things I'm getting them for Christmas will have places to live.

On Wednesday Oz brought them up to see Mama at work in the office, so I took them around a little bit and then they hung out in the waiting room until it was time to go home.  (Work is good, still circus-ish, but next week we're training one more new person and then we should be actually fully staffed, and that is a wonderful feeling.  I won't be in the main office on Monday because the girl at the satellite office had a family emergency and is dealing with that, so I'm covering for her, but it should be an easy day.  I digress.)  Then Oz and I changed clothes, took the kids over to my brothers-in-law's (how on EARTH does one make that plural possessive??  Because two of them live there, and they are my brothers-in-law, but should it be brothers-in-laws'???  My brain just exploded) apartment where the kids spent the night with both of the guys as well as my mother-in-law.  It was a crowded place, but they had a great evening/night, and Oz and I went for dinner and then met up with a friend and her new hubby down at a bar where we drank beer and ate sweet potato fries and played darts until my contacts were about to either fall out or adhere themselves to my corneas from sheer fatigue.

We got home safely, took showers, and crashed, but then Oz and I both got up around 5:30 to start the meat for Thanksgiving.  He took charge of the brisket on the grill - I had put on the dry rub on Tuesday evening, so it'd been soaking up the flavor for about 36 hours - and I handled the giant leg of pork that was going in the oven.  I used this recipe, and OH MY WORD it was the bomb dot com.  We threw the meat in their respective cooking places and went back to bed for another 45-50 minutes… and then we adjusted the heat and did it again.  Around 7:30 or so we both actually decided it was time to get up for good, so Oz started the coffee and we began the process of cleaning the house for our guests while letting the parade play in the background.  For the record, I never thought I'd prefer Matt Lauer and Al Roker as hosts, but they would've been preferable to the folks on CBS.  That was painful.

By 10:30 the house was mostly ready, which was good because my mom showed up about that time and I know I wouldn't have been able to do much cleaning after that... besides anything else, my mom never arrives without looking like she's moving in, and this time was no exception.  She had a box of fabric scraps for Boo, a box of needlework books and shirts for me to browse through, as well as a pie and the non-liquored-up version of something called Apple Pie Moonshine.  We added the booze shortly after she got here, and it is just as delicious as the web site promises.  Dangerous stuff.

My kids and in-laws arrived not too long after my mother, and from there on out, it was Party Time.  There were people cooking, people talking and laughing, and just everything Thanksgiving should've been.  One thing that was different for us this year was that I had sent out an open invitation via Facebook for anyone who needed/wanted a place to come and celebrate Thanksgiving with friends, and I had a couple of folks take me up on the offer.  I was so glad they came, and I hope - I think - they had a good time.  We all stuffed ourselves to the point of pure indigestion, I do know that!!

A few people left early, but most of the family and a few friends hung around into the early evening hours.  My mom got to play with a baby, and my kids were good with the older ones, so there were no incidents that I'm aware of.  My husband and his brothers wandered down to the fire pit for a while and had some bro time, and I just enjoyed talking with everyone and catching up.  It doesn't happen often enough.

In addition to all that, I scored a beautiful ring.  When my grandmother had moved into an assisted living facility a few years ago, she had handed me the ring that had belonged to her when she married my grandfather.  The stone was amazingly beautiful, but the setting was dated and far too large for my finger.  Oz and I had briefly discussed getting the stone re-set at some point in the future, but that date had never been determined.  When he and I were struggling with our relationship issues earlier this year, I figured it would never happen.  Then he and I had our come-to-Jesus, honest-to-goodness, heart-to-heart about everything, and we turned a corner.  A month or so ago, I told him I would wear a ring again if he A) got the stone put into a ring that was MINE and mine alone and B) took me on a few successful dates and re-proposed to me.

Oz and I had discussed rings off and on since then - I'd sent him pictures I'd found on Pinterest or Etsy of custom rings that I liked, and he'd found a local jeweler who does custom work, and I'd even gone in and met the guy and had my ring size determined (5 1/4, in case you're curious, which is an odd size) - but I did NOT know that the ring design had been both finalized and finished, and I certainly did not know that Oz had picked it up.

So when he re-proposed to me in front of almost all his family and mine… well, what else could I do?

I said yes.

I'm thankful for my family (and friends!) each and every day.  They make my world wonderful.  Hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving, if you're in the USA, and if you live elsewhere in the world, that you have a great weekend!

Christmas Plans

It's time for my annual Grinchy post about Christmas.  I love Halloween.  I can tolerate Thanksgiving.  But I loathe Christmas.

OK, that's not quite correct.  I love Christmas with my husband and kiddos.  I love making it magical for the kids, even though they don't technically believe in Santa any more, and I enjoy getting them gifts and seeing their faces on Christmas Day.

What I loathe is the level of expectation.  It starts in September.  SEPTEMBER, for Pete's sake, before I've even begun to think about my son's birthday or Halloween or Thanksgiving or any of the stuff that has to happen before the blessed holiday is upon us.  It varies from year to year as to who the person is, but someone inevitably mentions Christmas in September… and usually throws in an expectation along with it.  "You'll be at my house this year, right?" "Are you doing X again this year?" "What are your plans for Christmas?"

I hate it.

And it only ramps up from there.

By the time December, let alone Christmas itself, rolls around, I'm exhausted.  It's all I can do to keep up with the kids and their holiday stuff - which is the stuff I *want* to do - let alone manage all the stuff that I'm supposed to do.

And every year, I wind up loathing Christmas.  It has taken on a year-round aspect at this point.

I know some people love the holiday.  I wish I could be one of them.  But I am not.

So.

Because this year has been a year of many revelations and changes for me and I am finally making me a priority, I am going to do things differently.  The following changes are now in effect:

1.  I will NOT be going anywhere on Christmas Day.  My children have already requested to stay home; my son wants to plan a menu and cook Christmas dinner for us.  I want to let him do this.  So I will be staying home on Christmas Day.

2.  I do not intend to purchase gifts for anyone over the age of 12.  If you are old enough to have your own income, expect either A) nothing or B) a gift card.  My sister and I have already cleared this with each other, and I am hoping to follow suit with both my parents at some point soon.  It's quite freeing to not have to worry about so many bills and wonder whether or not you've purchased the perfect gift for somewhere between 12 and 20 people, not including anyone who lives in this house.

3.  I do not want any gifts myself (again, unless you live in this house, and that's only because I can't really stop them).  I have what I need.  I do not want extra stuff.  Just send me a card to know that I'm thought of.  I enjoy those!

If I'm perfectly honest, I'd love to give up celebrating Christmas altogether and just celebrate Yule/the solstice.  I'll conform to the societal norms for form's sake, mostly because my mom, dad, and some of my in-laws are strong Christians (and I live in a town that threw such a huge fit over having a 'holiday' parade that for several years they had two parades just so the people who wanted a 'Christmas' parade would be happy), but I'd be perfectly content to follow my own pagan path and celebrate my way.

Maybe next year.

Because I really don't want to hate Christmas.

A Long Day

Today I have been to Kansas and back.  My father called on Tuesday morning to tell me that my grandfather - his father - had suffered a stroke and passed away in the wee hours before dawn.  So I've lost two grandparents this year.  My dad's mom is the only grandparent still living.  But I digress.  I was just glad to be able to be at the funeral today; in a way it's a consolation for not yet being able to find a job.

We all rode up together, my dad and my stepmother and my sister and I.  He picked me up around 7:15 this morning, and we arrived in his (my) hometown a little after 9 a.m.  It may be in another state, but it isn't that far away time-wise.  It was a pleasant drive up, and when we got into town we immediately located two of his sisters and some of my cousins (and some of their spouses/kids) so we could travel together out to the cemetery for the graveside service.  We were early, but there were already plenty of people there, and more trickled steadily in.  By the time we were herded over to the tent, I would say there were 100-125 people in attendance, mostly family but a good number of people from town as well, and I don't quite think the officiant knew what he was in for.  After the officiant read the obituary and a couple of Bible verses, my Uncle Steve (I have two Uncle Steves, but this is the one I'm biologically related to) stood up and said a few words in his role as self-proclaimed family spokesman. And even in the midst of telling serious stories, the brothers and sisters (see pic)...

My dad and his 11 siblings

… couldn't resist taking the odd shot at one another or sharing even more tidbits.  Laughter at a funeral - who knew?  To be honest, I think my grandfather would have approved.  He didn't believe in dwelling on things.  If there was something to be done, you got up and did it.  His work ethic was one of the things that got passed on to his kids… and subsequently, most of his grandkids as well.  If I do say so myself, we're a fairly successful bunch.

After the service ended at the graveside, nobody hurried away sad and forlorn.  We stayed and talked, despite the heat (we were all grateful for a breeze), and then we all headed to one of the local churches for lunch.  It was LOUD with all of us in there, but it was a good sort of loud.  There was talking and laughter and hugging and yes, sometimes tears, but mostly it was just a good sort of get-together with lots of catching up.

I'm back home now.  The drive back home was nearly as good as the drive up (my sister and I were happily be-bopping and singing along to various 60s tunes in the back seat), and while I would absolutely love nothing more than to stay on this couch with my feet up, I can't.  Doodlebug is resting in his room, and Boo will be home soon.  I'll fix them some dinner, and then Doodlebug and I are going to attend the OneRepublic concert tonight.  I really don't want to go because I'm so tired, but I've made a commitment.  No sense dwelling on things.  There's something to be done, so I'll get up and do it!

Two weeks!

The last two weeks seem to have absolutely flown by.  I never would have realized that it had been two weeks since I had last posted except that Blogger tells me when my last post was.

When I last posted, I was feeling down.  Really, really down.  Doodlebug was at Camp Quest, Boo was coming home from a sleepover so she and the other girl could have another, consecutive sleepover, and I was - and still AM - finally down to the lowest weight I have been since I was 18 years old.

The girls had their sleepover, and then on the 12th, Oz, Boo and I climbed in the car and drove up to Grand Lake for a family reunion with my dad's family.  One of my uncles has a home there and graciously hosts us all.  There's a reunion every three years, if possible, and this was The Third Year.  There's a picture of all of us floating around somewhere - all 91 of us who came (I think there were another 20 or so who couldn't make it?) - in our color-coded T-shirts.  My dad and all his siblings pick a different color for each of themselves and their families, and so at least on Saturday you know who belongs to which family group.  The rest of the time, all the newcomers wander around in a daze trying to figure out all the people and names and everything else.  But it's a fun weekend.  This year was the best-organized yet, and two of my cousins held a cook-off (jambalaya vs pastalaya) and a bunch of the guys threw money into a pot and went out clay shooting to win a new gun.  Yes, we're that family.  Beer was, I'm sure, drunk during the contest.  It flows freely throughout the weekend.  We spend time on the water - my uncle takes out the boat, and other folks are permitted to use the jet skis if they're trusted, and my husband is trusted - and the kids commandeer the game room in the basement or watch videos or run around with their cousins.

I actually didn't stay for the entire weekend.  One of my dear friends is moving to another state for her husband to finish college, and she had a combination birthday/going away party on Friday night that I swore up, down and sideways that I wouldn't miss, so I left the reunion on Friday afternoon and attended that.  Then I spent the night at home, picked up Doodlebug on Saturday, and headed back to the lake to finish off the reunion.  It was a whirlwind, but it was great.

Did I mention that by this point my depression had subsided and I was… and am… now in a much better place?  There were a few days I was concerned I was absolutely manic, because I was talking and typing and going 90 miles an hour the entire time, but even that has settled down now.  Thankfully.  Being in constant motion was almost as bad as not being able to move.

After we made it home from the reunion (and did all the laundry), last week was quiet.  Nothing to report, and I didn't even think about the fact that I hadn't looked at the blog for ages.  It seems so odd to blog on a homeschooling blog when I'm not homeschooling, and I haven't quite made the mental transition to being a public-school mom yet.  Because I'm not… yet.  Not till the middle of August.

This week is busier again, which is good.  Yesterday I caught up with some friends I hadn't seen for quite some time, and this weekend I have both another night out with different friends (we're going to one of those wine and paint places, and we're contemplating going for fondue first) as well as a book club meeting at my house.  Usually the book club is held at the club leader's house, but she's been out of town for two weeks and didn't quite feel like coming back into town and hosting an event two nights later… and I don't blame her!

So things are puttering along.  We've been to the pool once so far, with plans to go again soon, bowling once, and the kids want to go to some museums and do a couple other things before school starts in August.  Summer may have just officially begun, at least in terms of the solstice, but we're well into it and, I think, are having a good time.  I have some pictures I want to share; I'll try to remember to post more often and actually get them on here. :)

Surprise Company

Oz and I have been married for nearly 14 years. In that time, I have talked to and/or met only one member of his dad's family - his dad. We've gotten a few Christmas cards from aunts/uncles and there are a few folks on Facebook who show up in my 'People You May Know' list because they're on Oz's friend list, but I hadn't met them.

Oz's dad is one of six kids.  He's number... five, I think?  That sounds right, because I think he and my dad are the same number (except my dad is #5 out of 12).  Anyway, when we went to Australia, I met three of the other siblings.  A fourth, one of the older siblings, passed away while we were there; I didn't meet him, though we did go to the hospital so Oz could visit his aunt and say goodbye... not that we were hoping it would be goodbye, but it was. And the last sibling lives in New Zealand and we just didn't have the time/money/ability to get over and visit him.

We also didn't get to visit any of Oz's cousins while we were there. But his cousins, like Oz and his brothers, aren't exactly static.  Hardly anyone lives in or near the Sydney area.  In fact, one of them lives in Japan right now and another is here in the United States.  He's down in Florida, so it's not as if we're neighbors, but recently he got in touch with Oz and said if he was ever this way, he'd drop in.  Well, of course, who really travels to Tulsa if they don't have to?  So I never expected to meet him unless we went down his way.

Yesterday, however, Oz called me on the way home from work and said, "Oh, by the way, my cousin is driving to Dallas from Kansas City and may drop in."

Um... what?  Long story short, we offered him a bed for the night, which he accepted.  I'm sure sleeping in a bedroom with a lizard wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind for the night, but I also suspect it was better than driving till 2 or 3 a.m... though after meeting him, I have no doubt he'd have had the stamina to do just that. 

So now I've met a cousin. 

It seems like family grows not in small, planned increments, but in leaps and bounds.  And it's nice to feel more in touch.  As long as it remains drama-free, of course!

Breaks and Endings

I realized today that I haven't posted since Valentine's Day.  That day, of course, was wonderful.  But then last week happened.

I knew it was coming.  My grandmother's health had been steadily declining since the beginning of the year, and I'd had a hunch for more than a month that this would be 'the week.'  And it was.  My mother called at 4 a.m. Wednesday to let me know that she was on her way up to Kansas and would be grabbing my sister on the way.  I waited by the phone all day until I got the word around 4:30 p.m., and then I went up Thursday morning to help my mother with final arrangements.  Oz was amazing and took care of the kids all day Thursday and Friday, including finding an entire outfit for Doodlebug and a new dress for Boo, before bringing them up for the funeral Saturday morning.  (No, I'm not sad.  It was time.  So no need for condolences.)

We got back home late yesterday afternoon.  It was odd driving home and realizing that I now have almost no reason to go back up to Kansas.  I've promised my great-aunt that I'll swing by to say hi to her if I'm up, but that might - might - be once a year, not the 3-4 times a year I'd been making the drive before.  So that was weird.

Last week was also an interest-led week around here.  I wish I was clever enough to have taken photos or videos of their presentations, but since we just did them this morning, I was tired and didn't.  Doodlebug studied particle accelerators and made a poster about them (he typed up quite the paper!); Boo studied rodents and made a Powerpoint presentation.

Then this is the last week of February already.  Spring Break is coming up quickly, and I have only a month to get ready for Boo's 9th birthday, and I haven't even begun to get her gifts yet.  I don't even know what to get her, if I'm honest.  What do you get a 9-year-old girl?  I'm at a loss.

So if I'm absent for the next few weeks, just pretend you don't notice.  March is going to be a hot mess. I'll be back sooner or later, and I'm thinking of you all!

And So It Begins

I've had a feeling for a while that 2014 would be rocky, that 2013 was the 'calm before the storm,' so to speak.  I whined the other day about it being stagnant - and it was - but at the same time I think it was what I needed.

I'm sure there will be good, bad and ugly this year just like there is in any other.  I just have a feeling that the good will be great, the bad will be very bad, and the ugly will be downright nasty.  This year feels like it will be exaggerated.

It's already gotten off to a bang.  Oz is up in Kansas today, helping my grandmother sort through some of her stuff so that my mom (and various other people) can clean out the room at the retirement home and move my grandmother into an actual nursing home.  Her health has been in steep decline for several months, and she can no longer go without full-time care.  My sister, mother and I are all grateful that she got to make it through one last Christmas, but we all are in doubt as to whether she'll see her 90th birthday in March.  We've all made our peace with that.  It is what it is.

Doodlebug has also been difficult the past few days.  Last week I typed up, with great hopes, an electronics usage contract.  It basically asked him to be responsible with his electronics usage - don't steal/hack other's devices, don't visit sites you know you shouldn't, and only use the devices for a reasonable amount of time each day - and to follow basic Internet rules like not sharing personal information, not meeting people, etc.  It outlined specific consequences for breaking the rules plus offered ways out if he broke the rules and was honest about his behavior as well as a long-term reward (a cell phone, which he desperately wants and will more than likely need when he attends school in August) for keeping the terms of the contract.  He read it.  We discussed it.  He signed it.  And then he broke it twice in the first 48 hours… which wouldn't have been as horrid if he hadn't broken the rules in the exact same way each time and lied about it the second time.  Then yesterday he had friends over, and the friends 'accidentally' (it may have been an accident, it may not… his friends are his friends and are just as likely to have been in cahoots with the boy as anything else) left their Xbox Minecraft disk behind.  So Doodlebug was up at 6 this morning - after ringing in the New Year at midnight last night - playing Minecraft.  Ugh.

All in all, none of that would be a big deal.  The real problem is that when caught (my friend texted me to let me know the Minecraft case was empty, at which point in time Oz went upstairs and retrieved the disk and found out about the early-morning gaming), Doodlebug imploded.  "I hate myself."  "I'm just a monster."  "I wish you'd never had me."  I've seen hints at this vague self-loathing now and then, and every time I hear it we sit down and talk about his feelings and depression, but this was particularly vile, and the boy started punishing himself to boot - it was just offering to make himself do chores all day, but it was self-imposed punishment nonetheless.  So we had another chat about those ugly feelings, and I'm going to ask him to share them with his counselor next time we visit.  I don't want him to be a suicidal preteen like I was.

So there's 2014 so far.  How's yours going?

Monday Musings

I don't usually do this, and I don't think it'll be a typical 'thing' that I do, but I read other blogs whose authors do this, and I'm rather inspired this week.  So…

Outside My Window:
It's sunny and cool today.  It was really quite warm this weekend and very windy for a cookout on Saturday night, but the weather today is more seasonally appropriate.  I'm keeping a close eye on the weather for Thanksgiving, though.  I'd love snow, but I don't want people driving in it for the holiday.  Catch-22.

In My Yard:
The trees are nearly naked.  I dug up my giant rosemary plant and tucked it into the garage before the hard freeze last weekend, and I'm glad I did.  It's actually too big for my biggest pot, but I made it fit for now.  If I can manage to make it live through the winter and can replant it in the yard next spring, I'll probably just try to cover it next winter and see what happens.

In My Home:
Thanksgiving decorations are out, and the cats are extremely hopped up on nip at the moment.  A year or so ago, when we went to Kansas City, I picked up a catnip-stuffed mouse for the cats from a store called Gatos.  The cats loved it.  One of my cats loves this mouse so much she hauls it around all the time and will sit for hours with it between her paws.  Ergo, this mouse is called "Boyfriend Mouse."  Boyfriend Mouse, however, has been looking kind of sad lately, so I got on the Interwebz and hunted down more.  This time, I ordered three.  They arrived today.  That's a lot of happy cat lolling around my living room right now.

The kids are upstairs.  Doodlebug is finishing up school, and Boo is bugging him so he can't focus.  She just requested a sinus rinse because she couldn't breathe.  How they can tolerate those things, I'll never know, but they swear they help.  The drowned-rat feeling deters me.

In My Kitchen:
Turkey pot pie is on the menu tonight.  Over the weekend the kids and I made sticky buns, and because I can't read a recipe, I made two pans instead of three… but with the same amount of dough.  Because of that, they're obscenely gooey… and I had to put some of the dough in individual pie tins just because there wasn't room.  Next time I'll know better.  Later this week I'm going to try some new recipes like beer brat chili and jalapeño cream cheese Philly cheesesteak sliders.  (If you can't see those recipes, I apologize… some of them may be exclusive to Taste of Home magazine subscribers.  I would be happy to e-mail them to you if you're interested, though!)

Crafty Stuff:
I've started a new, giant project.  It's a cross-stitch project for Doodlebug's room.  He wants to redecorate, and now that he's stopped demolishing furniture and scratching tic-tac-toe symbols into the walls, I'm considering it.  He wants a gray/black color scheme - black Ikea furniture, gray walls - and wants this to hang on his wall.  I'm taking bets on when I'll be finished with it.  I've had people suggest time frames everywhere from February (uh… no) to "about the time [Doodlebug's] finished with high school."  That's probably a closer approximation.  I've finished two colors and have started on the third… not that that means much.  I think it'll probably take me till summer to complete, depending on how often I actually sit down and work on it.

In Our Homeschool:
We're about halfway done with our school year.  We'll take next week off for Thanksgiving, and the week we come back will be our second interest week.  Boo has decided she wants to study food; Doodlebug hasn't chosen a topic yet.  We're studying worms in science this week, the New Kingdom of Egypt (i.e. King Tut) in history, and I uploaded Rosetta Stone Spanish (Latin America) onto the computer today.  That turned out to be an epic journey.  I already had Rosetta Stone German on the computer, so I just added the Spanish to it… but when I went to register the curriculum, it didn't give me the option to add the homeschool code.  It just asked me for an 'upgrade' code and then wouldn't accept the homeschool code that I had.  I wound up calling and talking to a very patient (and fairly clear-spoken) tech support guy from India.  It took him a bit before he worked out that the version of Rosetta Stone I already had on the computer (Totale, or version 4) was too advanced for the homeschool curriculum that they still sell (version 3).  So now I have two versions of Rosetta Stone.  *shrug*  Technology.  Not really my gig.

In Our Lives:
The kids are fighting now.  I swear that's all they do.  They can't even pour bowls of breakfast cereal without sniping at one another.  We're still using the respect jar - actually just went out last night for their reward for filling it - but it hasn't helped Doodlebug one bit.  One of my friends said today that her boys have been doing the same thing - sort of a male lion domination thing that her her dad calls "testosterone flashes" - and it's driving me crazy.  He has to be right EVERY time, and if he's not, he'll bully his sister or run his mouth to me and/or Oz until he gets himself in trouble.  That appointment with the counselor can't come quickly enough.  *insert virtual pause here* I just broke up the second fight between them.  Doodlebug wanted to play Monopoly and Boo agreed if she could be banker, which Doodlebug initially agreed to and then decided he thought it would be too hard for Boo.  He thought he was being nice; she was angry that he took the job away from her.  Had to side with her on this one and tell him that he needed to let her try and decide for herself whether it would be too hard or not.  She's perfectly capable of doing the math; she'll just be slower than he wants to deal with.  I'm sure that's where the rub comes in.  Ugh.  Time to bury myself in something else - cross-stitching or dinner.

How are things in your neck of the woods?

Those Happy Weekend Days

This is going to be one of those posts where I simply word vomit the contents of my weekend, so if those sorts of posts hold no interest for you, I suggest you move on.  No hard feelings.  *smile*

Memorial Day weekend is one of those glorious weekends where there are no family obligations, no gifts involved, no greeting cards to send - you do what you and your family want and hang the consequences.

Friday evening kicked this weekend off with a bang.  One of my good friends and I piled in her car and waited in interminable traffic to get to Rocklahoma, which, I might add, didn't seem anywhere as crowded as the traffic and parking issues would originally have led us to believe.  We had a blast, and there's just something genuinely fun about driving home at midnight and stopping at a convenience store on the way home to grab Bugles and a Milky Way (me) and an energy drink (her).  We're already hoping that the lineup next year is equally good; we'll work our schedules so that hopefully the traffic issues aren't as pronounced.

Yesterday was a quiet day (OK, I'm just comparing it to today... it wasn't quiet at all).  Oz had to run down to Moore to do some work in that tornado-ravaged town, so the kids and I had the house to ourselves during the morning hours.  After lunch, we ran to a neighbor's house.  Their daughters recently turned 4 and 1 within a few weeks of one another, and as they're even newer to the neighborhood than we are, they invited several families they've met as part of a birthday get-together.  M2 was playing with one of the other neighbor girls, whom she had met before - the birthday family moved into the home where some girls M2's age had lived - and I got to meet the dad and exchange phone numbers.  The other girl is also in Girl Scouts, so when I call and introduce myself to the mom, I intend to discuss that as well, see if I can find out information for M2.  M2 was beside herself.  Oz got back during the party and walked up, and our whole family enjoyed cake and good conversation for a couple of hours before three of us headed home.  M2 stayed and entertained the older birthday girl and some of her out-of-state friends for another couple of hours before I retrieved her for dinner... and camping!  No, I did not actually sleep in a tent.  The kids had been begging for a month to camp in the yard like they do every spring, but it had been too wet to set up the tent.  It's finally dried out enough that I agreed it was time.  The ground is still moist, but we can finally walk through it (well, most of it) without water squishing between our toes, so M1 helped Oz set up the tent, and the kids spent an evening parked in sleeping bags and on air mattresses before sacking out about 10:30.  If I'd been smart, I would have gone to bed then, too, but I'm nothing if not a night owl, so at 10:30, Oz and I were in the middle of Saving Private Ryan, which neither of us had seen, and I had Ben & Jerry's Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler ice cream, which is my favorite ice cream ever, and so I didn't find my pillow till about 1 a.m.

Again.

It was hard to get out of bed this morning, but at 8 a.m. I was jolted awake by a cat who decided it was time for me to get up, which means that she climbed on my arm (I sleep on my side, but that does not deter this cat), perched herself firmly, and purred in my ear till I was awake.  She repeated this until I was too awake to go to sleep again.  It's her modus operandi when she wants breakfast, because she knows if I get up, then the boy gets up, and the end result is that she gets fed.  It's complicated feline logic.  The boy was, in fact, awake in the tent, and he and his sister had been awake long enough to have packed up their sleeping bags and rolled up the air mattresses so they could haul everything inside and dump it next to the back door on the way to FOOD OMG FOOD I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE LAST NIGHT FOOOOOOOOD.

After they consumed sustenance, I divided and conquered.  M1 did a couple of chores in the house, and M2 came outside with me to mulch the herb garden.  I hate doing things that early in the morning, but we had too much going on today to procrastinate... and anyway, I had coffee by that point and could (almost) function.  It was still very nice to come in and crash on the couch and watch some Monaco Grand Prix for a bit before I had to move again.

For lunch, we piled in the car and met Oz's family at a park for lunch.  We took the lazy route and picked up food on the way; everyone else brought coolers and meat to barbecue.  It worked out well for us, though, because by the time we had to leave, they were just finishing their meals... and I'm pretty sure that my food-seeking children wouldn't have survived that long without a feeding.  I'm not entirely convinced they'd have turned cannibalistic, but it's not out of the realm of possibility.  Anyway, we had to leave earlier than everyone else because M2 had her first sewing lesson with my stepmother today, and we had to be home in time for her to get picked up.  Oz corralled M1 and made him go run errands - lots of them - while I stayed home and exercised and made new binder labels for the next school year and ran to retrieve the girl.  She was delighted with what she learned, and she's assigned herself a couple of 'homework' projects that will mean I have to actually walk into a fabric store.  I may not survive; my fabric-store PTSD may kick in.  If I stop blogging and disappear from the web, you'll know why.

By the time everyone came home, we were drop-dead tired.  I fixed dinner and read the kids a chapter from the fourth Harry Potter book that we just started, and they were off to bed.  M1 was out like a light; M2 took a bit longer, but I think she's out now, too.

I'd say that tomorrow will be a piece of cake since we don't have to go anywhere and Oz will be home, but I fear it won't be the case.  My stepsister's sons are spending Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday morning here, and it's been a long, long time since I've had a little boy... and I've never had two of them at once.  It will be an interesting week.

Hope you all have a fun, safe Memorial Day (or Monday, depending on what country you live in), and I'll let you know how the child-minding goes.  Send a few good thoughts my way.

The Journey to Citizenship

Thirteen-plus years ago, my mother-in-law moved from Australia to the United States.  She brought her two youngest sons with her at the time, and the older two (Oz is the eldest) came over a few months later.  The years have also brought over Oz's father and grandmother, so that now the vast majority of my mother-in-law's family is here - only her one brother remains behind.  

Oz became a U.S. citizen shortly after M1 was born.  I have a photo somewhere that some nice lady took and sent to us (I was holding an 11-month-old at the time and didn't have two extra arms to deal with a camera as well).  However, he's been the only one that's taken that step... until now.

My mother-in-law and one of my brothers-in-law (the next in line after Oz) took the oath today.  Since it was a school day - and a Tuesday to boot - my mother-in-law wasn't sure if I would want to drive the 1.5 hours down to watch the ceremony, but as a homeschooling parent AND the mother of her grandkids, how could I miss such an opportunity?

I know she's gone back and forth many times about whether citizenship is the right step for her.  I know that it's taken a lot of time and money to fill in and file forms, attend interviews, and take the citizenship test.  (I went over the basic details with the kids, since we've been through the process and seen it for ourselves, but if you're interested, here's a link to the steps to becoming a U.S. citizen).  I'm proud of her for following through.

The kids and I rolled out of bed nice and disgustingly early on this very cold, November-or-February-like day and climbed in the car for the ride down to the state capital for the oath ceremony.  We got there and made it through security ("Mom, why do we have to take our shoes off?  They know we don't have anything.  We're kids!" - M2) and took a seat in the room where the naturalization would be held.  We didn't have to wait long - the ceremony started with a brief video about 15 minutes later.

After the video ended, we stood for the National Anthem and a USCIS representative came out and spoke briefly - briefly enough that even my kids didn't lose patience - before getting down to the heart of the matter.

The first thing he did was read out a list of all the 'home' countries represented at the ceremony.  Australia was first.  That's my mother-in-law and brother-in-law standing; you can see the speaker in the mirror behind them.

Hi, Mum :)

After all the countries had been listed, the oath was taken.  The kids were impressed by the length and content of the oath.  M1 had thought it would just be one sentence, maybe two.  (Read the full text of the oath here.)

Once everyone was sworn in as new citizens, everyone - spectators included - stood and said the Pledge of Allegiance.

Finally, the certificates of naturalization were handed out.  The speaker went over a few housekeeping details (like making sure the certificates were 100% accurate before leaving the building to save time and money later), and that was it!  From start to finish, the entire ceremony took about 35-40 minutes.  Not half bad, I must say.

Personal data removed from image

And now my kids have a U.S. citizen for a paternal grandmother.  Congratulations, Mum!

Fire Drill

Ever wonder what sorts of regulation hoops schools have to jump through just to be able to education your kids for a single day?

I do, sometimes.  I know they have tons and tons of paperwork to fill out, everything from the nutritional to the educational.  And I know that they have to do drills - tornado drills, lockdown drills (those bug me the most, I think, because I didn't have to do them for most of my educational career), and yes, of course, fire drills.

But how many of us have done fire drills with our kids?

I've done a few over the years, but only at our old house.  We haven't done any at the new house, though I have purchased extendable ladders that the kids can use from their bedrooms on the second floor.  What good do they do, though, if the kids don't know how to use them, if we haven't practiced?  Anybody would be freaked out climbing down a rickety-feeling ladder in the best of situations, let alone when there's a fire raging in your home.

Tonight as Oz and I were sitting in the living room watching TV, the sound of sirens - LOTS of sirens - came cutting through the noise.  At first I thought it was just the TV, since I wasn't really paying attention, but then Oz asked me, "What do you think it is?"

"Huh?"  I asked, looking at the TV for reference.

"The TV is muted," he informed me.  "Those are REAL."

He stepped onto the back porch, then came back inside.  "You have to see," he said.

I came to look.  From our back porch, we could see a red glow in the sky.  It wasn't far away, either... in fact, it seemed to be coming from two houses away - not the house behind us, but the house across the street from it.  And it was getting bigger.  We could hear the fire snapping and crackling even though it was raining.  We saw a police car block the street and multiple fire trucks come past to hook up to hydrants nearby.  We couldn't see flames, but the glow was ominous, and the fire got bigger before it got smaller; at one point, we could see sparks and large clouds of smoke.

I feel awful for the family that lives there.  I don't know who they are, but does it matter?  Thankfully, when I read the news story, I discovered that they did all make it out safely, but it reminded me that I need to do fire drills with the kids.  Just because they knew what to do before doesn't mean they know what to do now, and sometimes, just sometimes, the schools have it right.  An ounce of prevention is indeed a pound of cure.

Happy Christmas

We had such a happy Christmas this year, though it didn't come without its trials.  

As any parent knows, Christmas really starts the night before, when all the presents are set out.  If you look closely, you'll notice that the stockings on the right are set on the floor.  They were so stuffed with goodies that they were causing the holders to tumble off the mantel, so we had to set the stockings down.  Sometime around 1 a.m., I heard rustling among the packages.  Given the vast quantity of cats that we own, I assumed that one of them was pulling tissue paper out of the sacks around the tree.  When I went to check, however, Speed Bump was the culprit.  The naughty dog had gotten into Oz's stocking and devoured an entire package of black licorice bullets.

For the record, black licorice doesn't harm dogs but does give them horrendous diarrhea.  And when the dog goes outside the next morning, leaves a mess on the porch, and then manages to get some on his back paws that he tracks back into the house... well, THAT is a memorable odor.  It was a heck of a way to wake up!

Still, we finally got the dog imprisoned in the garage and sat down to open gifts.

When I was a little girl, I had a Pogo Ball.  Now my girl has one, too.

Her favorite gift - a small radio and purple headphones

A step-by-step baking book - the kids have already made apple streusel bars!

Happy Christmas boy who just opened his metal detector

Oz brought out a new, properly-sized bike while we were opening other gifts

The Epic Perplexus had been on his list for months

A 'butterfly' chair to replace the papasan chair she broke last year.
This one's much sturdier and much more... well, FLASHY.

Oz enjoyed his Christmas, too.  The kids gave him a new lamp for his office.

Oz and I never get to play Santa at our house.  The kids insist on doing it all themselves!

Carnage

My girl instantly wanted to try out her Pogo Ball.  This makes me proud.

Lots of smiles wreathed faces this Christmas.  After the presents, we ate our traditional Christmas cinnamon rolls before bundling up and heading over to my dad's for the rest of the day.  We were supposed to get snow on Christmas, but it all headed south and tormented others for the day.  We could use the moisture, and I can't say that I wasn't hoping for a white Christmas, but it was nice not to have to worry about ice on the roads.

Tomorrow - the kids and their projects!

Everything's Up to Date in...

C'mon, now, y'all know the song.  I presume.  Maybe it's only folks here in Okielahoma who can sing almost every song from the Rodgers & Hammerstein classic.

It's possible.

Anyway, the end of the line is "Kansas City."

Our family had needed a little getaway for a while, and Oz finally decided we'd take the kids there.  Besides anything else, the kids were desperate to go to the Great Wolf Lodge since they'd been to the one in Dallas; they wanted to see how different the two were. (Answer: The layout is very different, and if you are a fan of the MagiQuest, I suggest KC, but if you're a fan of the water park, go to Dallas.)  So we drove up on a Thursday morning and spent the afternoon and evening letting the kids swim and play MagiQuest to their heart's content.  The best part was that Oz got M1 to go down a water slide (a first!!!) by bribing him with dessert.

Hey, whatever it takes.

The next morning we had arranged for a late checkout, so we went swimming again, washed up, and headed out.  After a quick lunch, we drove over to Crown Center.  We parked, walked into the mall, and I discovered an entire store full of cat stuff.  I didn't go too crazy, promise, especially since the real reason we'd driven to the Center was to go to the aquarium.  But we had to window shop, especially when we saw the store where they had fresh fudge cooling on the counter.  That mall is an easy place to lose yourself... and a hundred dollars (did I mention they also had a kitchen gadget store?  I'm now the proud owner of 12 silicone cupcake liners, which are perfect for making egg muffins).

The aquarium was the perfect place to kill an afternoon.  It was very kid-friendly, and the kids spent about 20 minutes in one room alone, just watching the fish and rays swim 'round and 'round in their tank.  After that, the kids were toast, so we checked into the hotel and ordered pizza delivery.  I think that everyone but me was asleep by 9:30.  Night owl that I am, I read till 11:30 or so.

Our last day in town - Saturday - was when I finally had the chance to break out the camera.

That'd be a "Union Station" sign behind those trees there.

Here's an actual shot of Union Station... well, OK, an actual reflective shot off a glass-front building nearby.  It was rainy while we were in town, so I didn't want to stand in front of the building and get my purdy camera soaked.  So I shot this picture from the walkway between Union Station and Crown Center.

Inside Union Station, it's a photographer's dream. (By the way, be warned, a photographer I am not.)

The ceilings are high and gorgeous...

... and there's marble everywhere you look.  There were actually a couple of weddings taking place while we were there.

Inside Union Station, there are several places to visit.  There's a small model train museum, which has free entry with the purchase of entry anywhere else, there are restaurants, and most importantly to my kids... there's a science museum.

We had wanted to take them to the zoo, but... well... it was raining.  And it was supposed to storm.  And while I don't mind the rain, storms are another matter entirely.  So we stayed inside.

The museum opened at 9:30, and we got there shortly after; I think we left about 3:30 or 4, though we took a short break for lunch.  The museum was simply that captivating.  They had everything from math puzzles...

... to a house filled with illusions...

... and everything in between.  They even had a couple of 3-D printers set up and running while we were there, and if you look on M1's shirt, you'll see a small red patch.  That's a small flashing pin that he got to solder himself.  The guy who was running the soldering activity also had the 3-D printers going, and he and M1 chatted for quite a while.

Even though it was a rainy, gray weekend, the trip was everything we had needed.  It was an escape from routine, a place not too far away or too odd, and it was just a neat place to visit.

Oh, and did I mention the Crayola store?

Kansas City was great :)

Countdown to Chaos

Boxes are starting to fill my home.  From where I sit, I can see three different stacks because I'm trying to keep them out of the walkways for as long as possible.  There is a stack in the hall and another in the kitchen.  So far I've packed up things like knick-knacks, the china, extra coffee mugs, extra linens and pillows, and appliances I won't be using in the next three weeks.  The kids have picked out some books to read, and I've packed the rest.

We had inspections done here on Friday afternoon.  We have a few things to fix but thankfully nothing major.  Inspections for our new house are scheduled late this week.  We're not expecting to find anything big, but you never know.  Once those things are taken care of, we get to wait on the appraiser.  Then we get to wait on the title information.  And in the meantime, I'm supposed to be educating the children because our first school day is tomorrow.  We may or may not take a week off while we're moving; I haven't entirely decided yet.

Once we get into our new place (knock on wood, etc., etc.), my mom, sister and I are headed up to visit my grandmother.  She's decided that she wants to move to an assisted living facility... before winter.  In her mind, this means September or October.  It's a facility with studio apartments, and she gets to bring her own furniture, but it's still a studio apartment, not a house.  My mom, sister and I have to make sure the facility is going to be a good fit, get her moved, and then go through everything in the house and sell, give away, or otherwise dispose of all the furniture, goods and detritus that accumulates throughout 88 years of living... and that includes the car and the house.  I'm not really looking forward to this, for many reasons.  It's odd and uncomfortable to be talking about getting rid of so many things when their owner is still around to hear about it.

I'm also waiting on word from my sister.  Her husband had a phone interview for a job out of state (WAY out of state), and if he gets it, they'll have to be moved by mid-August.  For their sake, I hope he gets it, because it sounds like it would be a perfect fit, but at the same time, I don't want my sister to be so far away!

I'm taking things one day at a time right now, because if I try to look too far ahead, I'll have a full-on nervous meltdown and simply won't function.  I'm one minor catastrophe away from the Land of Straitjackets and Valium.  I don't handle stress well, and moving myself is bad enough - I wasn't planning on EVERYONE moving this year, know what I mean?


I will make it through this, I will make it through this...

Crystal Bridges

I finally got around to emptying the SD card in my camera tonight.  A few weeks ago - the weekend after we listed the house, to be exact - the four of us piled in the car and took a trip to Crystal Bridges, an almost-brand-new free-to-visit art gallery/museum in NW Arkansas.

It was well worth the drive, if I may say so.  We paid a few bucks to see their current traveling exhibition, which brought the total to $10 for all four of us ($5 for adults and kids under 18 are still free).  Our favorite part, though?  The grounds.  They were beautiful.  There was live music (really good music, too!) in a small amphitheater located in a woodsy area near the museum.  There were water features and beautiful garden areas.  It was all very picturesque... I hope I was able to do some of it justice.  Enjoy!

Spring is for Trips

I think I mentioned that M2 had a field trip in another town this week.  This was the last one she'll be taking with her class at this school!  Because I wasn't feeling the love for meeting everyone at the school at 7:30 a.m. and making a 2-hour trek with a caravan of other vehicles, I called up my mother and begged her to let us crash at her house for the night.  Two hour drive with everyone else, or 35-minute drive after a leisurely trip to Starbucks?  Darn skippy.

Plus my kids got time with Granny.

We got to her house after she got home from work.  She fixed us dinner and then took M1 to the nearby park while M2 and I played in her back yard (Voice of Experience:  Thirty years old is past the cut-off for turning cartwheels and round-offs for the sake of demonstrating these moves to your 7-year-old daughter.  Your back will yell at you for a week, and not in a good way).  After everyone came back inside, the kids took their baths and brushed their teeth.  After M2 got done, she wandered over to the bookshelf and started perusing the piano books.  She pulled one out.  "Be careful," I warned her, remembering all the times I got yelled at when I was her age for touching those same books.

"Oh, she knows what she's doing," my mom assured me.  "We do this every time."

And then M2 sat down with Granny, and my mom played the song and they sang together.  It was lovely.

The next morning, I couldn't have timed things better.  We left the house when my mom had to go to work, and I took the kids down to the park to kill some time.  After a while, we wandered back to the car and headed to Starbucks to get drinks - fun for the kids and caffeine for me.  We showed up at the museum just as the caravan was pulling in.  Perfect.

The kids had a blast at the museum.  It's wonderfully set up for kids.

There are hidey-holes to crawl through...

... and touch screens with all sorts of information...

... and drawers that pull out with even more stuff to see (and some to touch)...

... and flip books and videos and so on and so forth.  In other words, it's a fun place.  M1 found a volunteer and peppered him with a million questions about various topics.  I was wandering back and forth between kids but still heard him stump the poor guy at least once.  Ah, well.

It was kind of difficult for me to realize that it was probably the last time I'll do anything major with M2's class. I'll see some of them again this week for the school's spring performance, but it won't be a class thing, per se.  That's okay, though.  Next time we want to go to the museum, we won't have to meet anyone if we don't want to... and if we do, there certainly won't be pressure to caravan or go to McDonald's afterwards!  (Sonic.  We went to Sonic after realizing that we went to the 'wrong' McDonald's because I blame Google Maps.)

My 500th Post

According to Blogger, this is my 500th blog post.  I didn't realize that fact until I logged on to type this, but I think it's fitting, because I like big, round, noticeable numbers.  Also, it's 2012.  I don't believe in the so-called Mayan Apocalypse, but I do believe that this year will be memorable for a couple of reasons.

First, I turn 30 in less than a month.  Speaking of big, round, noticeable numbers, there's one.  I'd like to get my weight down to 150, which is also a big, round, noticeable number.  I'm only 10 lbs. away, so it's technically doable as long as I quit eating Totinos and Ben & Jerry's at 10:30 p.m.  Y'know, things like that.

Second, M2 comes home this fall.  When that happens, I will no longer be a private school mom.  (I've never been a public school mom.)  I will officially be a full-time homeschooling mother.  I'm excited.

Third, we will be moving, and I don't plan to do so again until I'm old and wrinkly and gray.  We have to get lucky and catch the market, but I think we'll do okay.  This is sheer optimism speaking, of course, but I'll take whatever universal vibrations I can get.

Finally, I think this year will be memorable for the animals and people who "shuffle[d] off this mortal coil."  So far, I've lost a cat.  The gerbil is on its way out.  It's been in the corner of its cage since M2 and I cleaned it a couple of days ago, and it hasn't eaten or made a nest, and I haven't seen any evidence that it's drunk anything or used the bathroom, either.  Moving to the bipedal family members, Oz's grandmother and stepfather have been in and out of the hospital several times this year; his mother has been in twice.  My dad's dad is in very poor health (in a nursing home) and my mom's mom may be losing vision in her good eye.  Even if nobody actually passes, all the dominos are being set up to tumble, one after another, and I'm trying to make peace with that.

I won't borrow trouble, though.  No matter how bleak the outlook, I think the overall vibe of this year will be positive, and I don't want to lose sight of that.  2012 will definitely be a stepping stone, a time when I'll look back and think that this is when everything started.  And I'm okay with that.

:)

Dodging Bullets

Monday was lovely.  Truly lovely.  And then Monday and Tuesday got together and ganged up for what is truly one of the worst Valentine's Days I've had in... ever?  It wasn't pretty, though I did get a box of chocolates, a couple of cards, and a dozen beautiful roses to make me feel better.  Mostly I felt like all Oz and I have done for the past couple of days is dodge bullets and snatch sleep when we can.

Bullet #1:  Oz's stepfather is in the hospital.  He is not in good health.  Most of his issues are due to some very poor choices he has made in his own life, but I still dread the day when he passes and we have to tell the kids that Papa is gone.  He's supposed to see a nephrologist and possibly go home today, though.

Bullet #2:  Oz's grandmother had to go back to the hospital yesterday.  She was in the hospital all last week having biopsies done (see Bullet #3) and Oz only took her home on Sunday.  However, she was feeling very ill, so Oz took her to the doctor yesterday.  He drained some fluid, ran a few tests, then sent her to the ER.  There, she had a few more tests done, including a CT, before they decided to admit her.  I haven't heard anything yet today, but in my world, no news is good news.

Bullet #3:  Oz's grandmother's biopsies came back benign for cancer.  She's had cancer before, so we were all pretty concerned.  This is a big bullet to dodge.

Bullet #4:  Yesterday I caught M1 covering his left eye while he did his schoolwork.  I've seen him do this before, but usually when I ask him to uncover it, he claims he didn't know he was doing it and it doesn't happen again.  Yesterday he whined at me and promptly stuck his hand back over his eye.  So I asked him to close his right eye and look at me and tell me how many fingers I was holding up.  He couldn't tell me - he said there was "two sets of everything."  Not good.  I called the pediatric ophthalmologist, and apparently a kid seeing double out of one eye isn't considered a good thing, because I'll be darned if they didn't offer me an opening yesterday afternoon, which I declined.  They found us a time slot this morning.  I was honestly expecting to go in there and hear the word 'surgery.'  I really was.  I figured that the double vision was a symptom of M1's strabismus recurring, which isn't uncommon.  Turns out that it IS a symptom of recurrence, but since it's only in the one eye and not severe, the doctor just gave us a prescription for a pair of reading glasses for M1.  He says that when M1 looks at something far away, his strabismus is minimal - within the accepted range for kids who have had surgery.  However, when he's reading something close up, his left eye turns inward just enough more that it's out of the standard range, which means it can mess with his head... and when he looks up from reading, it takes a while for the 'normal' vision to come back.  We're not totally out of the surgical woods yet, but the doctor wants to see if he can make it to puberty before doing another surgery, since sometimes the sudden growth spurts can cause the vision to correct itself.  I'll take the glasses.  They sound good to me.

Bullet #5:  The weather.  I'm grateful for the snow day that we had, and I'm grateful that there wasn't a lot of ice.  Icy roads are nasty.

Bullet #6:  M2 has been very anti-practicing with her violin lately.  She's not inclined to try very hard when she does play, and she is inclined to have a meltdown at the drop of a hat if I dare to correct her while she's playing.  So last week her teacher suggested that she and M2 have a contest to see who could reach 20 days of practicing first.  The 'loser' of the contest had to buy the other an ice cream cone or drink from Sonic.  M2 was agreeable.  For 48 hours.  Then she decided not to practice.  Then she decided not to practice the following day.  By the time we had another lesson yesterday, she only had 4 stickers on her chart, one of which was her lesson and one of which was rather dubiously earned.  She was quite confident that she'd lost (and was completely undaunted by this).  Lo and behold, however, the teacher only had four stickers on her chart as well.  The game is still on.

In the grand scheme of things, most of these bullets are rather minor, I know.  I have plenty of friends who are dealing with much bigger issues.  But sometimes you just have to get it all out of your system, KWIM?

I'll be doing a school-year review in the next week or so.  It's been a while.  I might even dig out the camera and take photos!

Can I Blame Gary Chapman?

Christmas Day is over.  Christmas itself, of course, is never over, because even after all the gifts have been opened, the carols have been sung, the family has been visited, the meals have been eaten (and eaten... and eaten... and re-eaten as sandwiches for the next three days), and the general bloating has subsided, there are still wonderful memories to cherish... and if you're lucky, new toys to play with.  But today, 12/25/11 (or 25/12/11, if you don't live in the USA), is pretty well over.

The kids made out like bandits.  They always do.  Oz and I spoiled each other rotten, as we always do.

We visited the apartment shared by two of my brothers-in-law for dinner today.  They and my mother-in-law cooked dinner, and we all stuffed ourselves silly.  After dinner came the visiting, the gifts, more visiting, dessert, more visiting, and finally the good-byes before we packed up and headed over to my dad's house for yet another round of family get-togetherness.

By the time we got home around 8:45 tonight, we were all tired.  Exhausted.  Worn the heck out.

Oh, except for M2.

She was still as chipper as the moment that we left the house at 11:30 this morning, if not more so.  And after great deliberation, I have worked out why Christmas is so wonderful for her and an actual pain in the [insert body part here... Oz has a sore lower back and legs, I have a sore back and neck, and M1 has a headache] for the rest of us.

1.  She's an extrovert.  M1, Oz and I are introverts.

2.  Her love language is quality time.

When I read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, it cleared up a lot of things for me, but sometimes I still have to go back and say to myself, "OH!  DUH!  That's why this is hard for me but easy for so-and-so." In our household, everyone has a different love language.  M2 loves quality time (with a secondary language of physical touch).  M1 loves words of affirmation (secondary quality time or gifts... I haven't quite decided yet).  Oz loves physical touch (secondary quality time).  And me?  Well, like I said, I'm an acts-of-service kind of girl (secondary words of affirmation... and quality time, if I can get it).  I think many moms are acts-of-service types. And these folks know that Christmas is a logistical nightmare. It's the toughest time I face every year, bar none.

Christmas is an extremely stressful time for everyone.  I know that.  It's incredibly busy, and there are so many stressors that can cause this whole merry season to turn sour, but I honestly believe that those who have acts of service as their primary love language have it the toughest.  This could be a skewed perspective, I realize, but if I leave even one person unsatisfied, then I haven't done my job, and I feel it.  I feel incredible guilt until I can do something nice for that person to make the guilt go away.  Not to mention I feel pressured to find the perfect gift for everyone, do all the holiday traditions, make sure that everyone else's holiday needs are fulfilled before mine, and just generally make the holiday season bright for all those around me.

I'll be honest... I'm really not sure how many more years I can keep it up.  As it is, I start stressing about Christmas sometime around August!  In my head, I'm supposed to be doing something every minute of every day.  It's almost impossible for me to slow down this time of year.  This is why when I arrived at the apartment today, it took all of 10 minutes for me to invite myself into the kitchen and help with the last of the meal preparations.  That's how I show love.  I do.  I hate buying gifts, because I'm absolutely horrible at picking things out for people and gifts are tied for dead last on my love language list.  My idea of a gift is cleaning someone else's house or taking them out to dinner because I'm doing something for them, not just handing them something and wandering off.  I buy gifts because I want to participate in the tradition, but shopping is not fun for me.  I give hugs to those who want them because some people really dig the whole physical touch thing and I try to cater to their needs, too.  I sit down and chat with those who love quality time because I know that's important to them, and I really do love a good chat.  I'm not great at words of affirmation (poor M1), but I try to at least write little notes in the Christmas cards that I send out.

So, this Christmas, I hope that everyone's needs were met.  And if they weren't?  I apologize.  Hopefully I'll make it up to you sometime during 2012! (Let's do lunch.  My treat.)