Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Oh, the Things Kids Say

Last Friday M1 felt the need to (re)-explore certain profane words that have crept into the forefront of his consciousness.  He and M2 and I talked long ago about cuss words and how they're not allowed to say them until they're old enough and mature enough to use them appropriately (and that may mean NEVER).  However, M1 still feels the need to air his knowledge once in a while.  This time we were driving to dinner when M1 piped up with, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"When I was little, did I ever rhyme duck with [insert rhyming expletive here]?"

"[speechless]"

Once the nerves between my brain and mouth reattached, I launched into a reiteration of the rules and made it perfectly clear that the F-bomb would never be allowed to pass his lips in my hearing.  He was amenable but found it incredibly amusing that I referred to it as the "F-Bomb."

Today, when we were in the car, I was joking and told him that his "old mother" was very proud of him (he had volunteered to let his sister use the shower first since she wasn't feeling well).  He smiled and responded with, "I'm glad you're proud, but stop using the O-Bomb to refer to yourself!"

It took me a minute to work out what he was referring to, but when I finally connected the dots, I laughed.

---

At dinner tonight, M2 popped out with a fun one of her own.  She was chatting happily, and all of a sudden she asked what "erection" something was.

Oz and I nearly choked.

"You mean direction?" I asked with as straight a face as I could muster.

"Direction," she confirmed cheerfully.

Oh thank heaven.

---

M1 came up with a joke today, too.  He was very proud of it.  Before you get your hopes up, please remember that he is Sheldon. And if you haven't seen Big Bang Theory, I refer you to this montage of Bazinga moments from the show.

M1, giggling, comes into the kitchen where I'm fixing meatballs for dinner:  Mom, I came up with a joke when I was in my room.

Me: Okaaaayyy...?

M1:  OK.  Here it is.  [pause]  Mom, I would like to have bacon for dinner.

Me:  [awkward pause before realizing that I'm meant to know what to say here] Oh... why would you like to have bacon for dinner?

M1:  [second awkward pause while he computes what I said compared to what he had scripted in his brain] You're supposed to ask why I want bacon.

Me, thinking I did exactly that:  Why do you want bacon?

M1:  So I can eat history!  Get it?  Francis BACON?

Proud of himself, M1 wandered off, giggling to himself, muttering something about the Stewarts, while I just shook my head.

I love that my kids can make me laugh... even if they don't mean to!

1 comment:

Glimmering Girl said...

LOVE it! Three year old Rose has just discovered jokes and her jokes usually consist of:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Strawberry! LOL LOL