Du Liebst Mich!

Imagine my surprise when another blogger commented on my blog... and left me a little something:

Thanks, Treena!  I love finding out I have followers who enjoy my blog enough to share.

Of course, there are 'rules' that go along with this award, and I'll be passing it along to a few other bloggers myself (that's one of the rules, of course, to pass it on).  The rules state you're supposed to list 11 little-known facts about yourself, answer 11 questions that the awarding blogger asks, and leave a list of 11 questions for the bloggers you send the award to.  Oh, and the blogs who receive the award are supposed to be new OR have 200 or fewer followers... not too much of a problem for me, as I rarely gravitate to popular blogs.

I shall now fulfill these requirements to the best of my ability!

Eleven Little-Known/Random Facts About Me:
1.  I'm a lefty.  Lefties rule.  That is all :)
2.  I was born with a hole in my head.  No, seriously, it's true!  I have a small bald lump there now.
3.  I hate the smell of patchouli.
4.  I've only ever been to one rock concert in my whole life.  This spring, I will remedy that.
5.  I spent an entire year of my life being called, "Sarah, Plain and Tall."  I hated it and still can't look at that book without having flashbacks.  It is an excellent book, though.
6.  I played soccer for a few years as a child.  I was on the Yellow Team.  I still have my medals somewhere.
7.  I also took tap, ballet, and gymnastics for those same few years.  I can still do a roundoff, but I pay for it the next day.  Doing a pas de chat is much safer.
8.  I have never been able to do a pull-up/chin-up/whatever you call the damned things.
9.  My first car was a 1989 Ford Probe GT.  Red.  With sunroof and tinted windows and a 'turbo-charged' engine and a manual transmission.  And an oil leak.
10.  I chew Juicy Fruit gum... but only when I'm on an airplane.
11.  I hate mini-blinds.

Treena's Questions for Her Chosen Ones:

1.  What was the best thing that happened in your life in 2012?  Ahhh, so easy.  Moving.  I has space now.
2.  Favourite food?  That is honestly a difficult question for me.  I think the answer is 'yes,' but if that doesn't suffice, then my top three are probably beef stroganoff, chocolate, and coffee, though not necessarily in that order.
3.  What is your favourite hobby?  Reading.  And cooking/baking, if I'm in the right mood.
4.  What is one place you'd love to travel someday?  I am hopeful that sometime in the next few years, we'll finally make it to Australia and Oz can show me and the kids all the places he grew up.  I hate that we haven't ever gone, but I'm glad the kids will be old enough to remember it by the time we do go.
5.  Would you rather write things by hand or type them out?  I'll admit, I've long since fallen prey to the lure of the word processor.  I type far faster than I write, and it's just easier.
6.  What is one skill you have completely mastered?  Oh, lawsie, none of them.  Oh, wait.  Staying up till midnight.  I can do that one without thinking!  Seriously, I consider myself more of a jill-of-all-trades, master of none sort of person.  I'd like to change that, but it hasn't happened yet.
7.  One skill you'd love to learn?  I'm currently tackling German again, and I plan to plant an herb garden this spring so I can make some herbal remedies next time the cold season rolls around.
8.  Summer or winter?  Summer.  I completely abhor being cold.  People tell me, "But you can always add layers and you can't always remove them!"  How quaint.  Please find me a way to warm up my toes, fingers, and nose year-round without looking like a complete and utter stooge, and you win.  Until then, pththththththth. ;)
9.  One thing you really want to accomplish in 2013?  See #7.
10.  What was your favourite toy as a child?  Ahhhhhhh, another easy one.  My bicycle.  I disappeared for hours on that thing.  If only my mother had known I was gone...
11.  What is your most-cherished item in your home?  Why?  Hm.  That's another tough one.  I have many items that I cherish - photo albums, anything my children touch, my electric mattress pad, etc., but I think...

I think these are my most cherished item.  These hang in my laundry room just inside my garage door.  They belonged to my grandmother.  Some friends of hers did some traveling to India back in the day, and they brought back this set of elephant bells.  My grandmother always had them hanging on her back door, and when she moved into the retirement home a few months ago, I claimed them for my own.  Every time they jingle, I am reminded of her and my uncle and all the times we spent as a family at her house.

Now, 11 questions of my own for my victims... er... subsequent Liebster awardees...

1.  What is your middle name?
2.  Why do you blog?
3.  Do you have a hero, and if so, who?
4.  What dream are you currently pursuing?
5.  What's your favorite guilty pleasure?
6.  Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
7.  What's your biggest pet peeve?
8.  Would you ever consider plastic surgery for non-medical reasons?
9.  If you're an animal person, who is/was your favorite pet?
10.  What's your dream car?
11.  What's the craziest thing you've ever done?

I hereby award the Liebster to:

GnomeAttic - my sister's brand-spankin'-new blog

Between the Worlds - a beautiful blog by a wonderful Pagan lady

Beth's Quandaries - a blog by a personal friend about her life, kids, and pets

I Capture the Rowhouse - a homeschooling blog by a mom of two handsome young men

Wind and Rust Farm - another blog by a personal friend about urban farming and raising a boy

I'm aware that's far fewer than the 11 I'm supposed to assign, but I'll make you a deal.  I also choose any other six people who dare to put this award on their blog.  Just leave a comment that you're taking the award, and I'll come visit your blog... and probably follow it, too!

Rangoli

I got up yesterday morning painfully aware that our Christmas break is coming to an end.  Oz went back to work, and I realized that while I've really enjoyed our time off, the natives are getting restless and it's time to get back into our routine.  (I'd honestly enjoy getting back into the routine more if it was more staggered, and we didn't have everything starting back at the same time, but c'est la vie!)

While the kids were running through their morning routines, I asked them if they had anything they really wanted to do before the break was over expecting to hear that they wanted to go to the zoo or have a tea party or camp in the back yard/game room.  And M1 did say that he wished it was warmer so that he could enjoy more time outside.  M2's answer, though, surprised me.

"I want to make a mural!" she announced.

Well, all righty then.

I've had a roll of banner paper forever.  M1 and I used it to make an ongoing timeline for history, but there was plenty of paper left over, and it's been sitting in the school room closet unused for a while.  M2 had noticed it and decided it needed a bigger purpose in life.  She hauled it down, and we unrolled it and cut off a length of paper that she wanted.

"What sort of mural are you going to make?" I asked.

"I think...," she paused before going on.  "I think I'm going to make a rangoli."

I nodded, but M1 was confused.  "What's rangoli?"

M2 was quite exasperated.  "YOU know, rangoli.  Like from the book that I get at the library a lot."

Romina's Rangoli by Malathi Michelle Iyengar

It's true.  M2 has checked out that book a few times now, and she really likes the story.  I can't say I'm surprised, since it's about a little girl who struggles with her art, but I'm glad she's been inspired.  We talked a little bit about what rangoli was, and M2 disappeared up to her room to work.  I snuck up behind her a few minutes later to check in...

She was a busy little bee.  She stopped and started the process several times throughout the morning before coming to get me right before lunch.

"Want to take a picture of it?" she wanted to know.

Of course I did!

Her rangoli now adorns part of her wall.  I'm not entirely sure what it's meant to be and haven't asked, but she's proud of it.  And if my girl can actually finish an art project and not hate it, that's good enough for me.

O, Christmas Tree

A few weeks ago, I was talking to Oz and mentioned that as the kids get older, they really need him more, not less.  M2 needs him to be a strong male figure and to set an example of what she should expect to find in a good relationship and also to be a sounding board for the inevitable time when Mom's thoughts and opinions no longer count for anything.  M1 needs him to set an example, too, and also to teach him things that I can't.

Like soldering.  With M1's engineering bent, soldering is one of those things that he's going to want to know how to do sooner or later.  He got to do a little bit of it when we visited Kansas City in October and loved it, but once does not proficiency make.

Oz, being a good husband, visited a store and came home with a small project for M1 to put together.  M2 got curious and followed the boys out to the garage, and I grabbed the camera to tag along.

Oz was very patient as the kids tried to work out which pieces were what and how they all fit together.

Those symbols are very tiny, after all.

M1, however, was primarily the one doing the soldering.  M2 got bored and left long before the project was finished, but M1 stuck to it and saw the whole thing through to the end.

It's almost out of season now, but this tiny Christmas tree is still sitting on the bar in our kitchen.  Sometimes someone will walk by and shove the tree's contacts down onto the 9-volt battery, and the lights twinkle brightly.  Mostly, though, it shines as an example of what can be done with a little patience, dedication, and a great dad.

Lil' Mama

We have long called our daughter Lil' Mama.  She channels so many of my words, actions, and ways of thinking that it's sometimes a bit disturbing.  However, she's never, ever liked dolls.  She had a couple when she was younger - when she was 2 or 3 - and never played with them, so we eventually passed them on.  I thought Littlest Pet Shop and other miniatures might be more up her alley, but she didn't care for those either.  The only figurines that she's ever been interested in have been fairies, and to that end she has quite a few.  Last year my mom got her an entire set of fairy houses and fairies to go with them.  Those she has played with fairly regularly.  Then my dad uncovered my old dollhouse in his attic, and we brought that home, and it sees occasional use... though these days it's more of a holder for her weather station than anything else.

Last week, though, something clicked inside my girl's head.

She decided that her stuffed cat Jojo (she's decided he's male, by the way) was her baby.  She dressed him up using handkerchiefs and barrettes and went to work making a comfortable place for her baby.

Jojo had every amenity you could imagine.

The constant care was rather overwhelming. However, during this process, M2 was constantly getting upset because Jojo's clothes were not staying on.  I told her that barrettes weren't really designed to hold clothes and suggested that she try using some of the clothespins we have in our art/school closet, but she didn't like that idea because it wasn't pretty.  She started begging for a doll so that she could borrow its clothes for her kitty.

And that gave me an idea...

Meet Madeline.  OK, originally - back in 1980-something when I first 'adopted' her - her name was Suzanne Yvette, but honestly I never cared for the name and when M2 wanted to rename her, I didn't really care.  It's not like I've got the original certificate, anyway.  So M2 decided that this is Madeline, and she's 2 and very smart.  The last two days have been centered around Madeline's care.  She is starting to potty-train, so M2 made her a toilet out of boxes from the garage.  She needed a sippy cup, so I dragged the one old sippy cup lid we had out of the back of our cabinet, put it on a cup, and gave that to the giggly girl.  Madeline even attended our New Year's Eve celebration last night, and this morning M2 proudly marched downstairs with the blue nightgown hung neatly on a hanger so she could give Madeline a (presumably pretend) bath.

Lil' Mama is hard at work, too.  When she's not caring for Madeline, she's being an entrepreneur.  She has an umbrella business set up in her room, complete with phone, keyboard, and radio, and she has printed off newsletters, sent funding requests to the government (and gotten a reply that they'll give her funding for her business because they think it'll make money and so they'll get more taxes - gotta give her credit for knowing THAT one), sent e-mails to her partner, recorded 'videos' to promote her company, and otherwise decided to set up several stores - one for men and one for ladies.  Oh, and yes, her company does provide daycare.

I love her imagination.  I love her initiative.  I only ever got as far as being a secretary or a teacher when I was little, so she's gone way beyond me.  I love her spirit!

Happy Christmas

We had such a happy Christmas this year, though it didn't come without its trials.  

As any parent knows, Christmas really starts the night before, when all the presents are set out.  If you look closely, you'll notice that the stockings on the right are set on the floor.  They were so stuffed with goodies that they were causing the holders to tumble off the mantel, so we had to set the stockings down.  Sometime around 1 a.m., I heard rustling among the packages.  Given the vast quantity of cats that we own, I assumed that one of them was pulling tissue paper out of the sacks around the tree.  When I went to check, however, Speed Bump was the culprit.  The naughty dog had gotten into Oz's stocking and devoured an entire package of black licorice bullets.

For the record, black licorice doesn't harm dogs but does give them horrendous diarrhea.  And when the dog goes outside the next morning, leaves a mess on the porch, and then manages to get some on his back paws that he tracks back into the house... well, THAT is a memorable odor.  It was a heck of a way to wake up!

Still, we finally got the dog imprisoned in the garage and sat down to open gifts.

When I was a little girl, I had a Pogo Ball.  Now my girl has one, too.

Her favorite gift - a small radio and purple headphones

A step-by-step baking book - the kids have already made apple streusel bars!

Happy Christmas boy who just opened his metal detector

Oz brought out a new, properly-sized bike while we were opening other gifts

The Epic Perplexus had been on his list for months

A 'butterfly' chair to replace the papasan chair she broke last year.
This one's much sturdier and much more... well, FLASHY.

Oz enjoyed his Christmas, too.  The kids gave him a new lamp for his office.

Oz and I never get to play Santa at our house.  The kids insist on doing it all themselves!

Carnage

My girl instantly wanted to try out her Pogo Ball.  This makes me proud.

Lots of smiles wreathed faces this Christmas.  After the presents, we ate our traditional Christmas cinnamon rolls before bundling up and heading over to my dad's for the rest of the day.  We were supposed to get snow on Christmas, but it all headed south and tormented others for the day.  We could use the moisture, and I can't say that I wasn't hoping for a white Christmas, but it was nice not to have to worry about ice on the roads.

Tomorrow - the kids and their projects!

The Big Day Cometh

Ever notice how things sound so much more classy if you add 'eth' to the end of it?  Except it reminds me of the movie "10 Things I Hate About You" where the nerdy male leads are at the prom and announce that things "hath hitteth the fan... eth."  And then the ending loses all sense of classiness whatsoever.

I'm digressing and haven't even started the post yet!

Tomorrow is Christmas.  We visited my mom over the weekend and dropped by my sister's cute new house on the way home so we could finally say we've seen it.  We visited Oz's grandmother yesterday and exchanged gifts with two of his brothers, his mom/stepdad, and his grandmother/stepgrandfather.  The only people we haven't seen yet are my dad and stepmom.  We're supposed to see them tomorrow.

HOWEVER... and this is a really excited however... it's supposed to SNOW tomorrow.  There's still some debate as to the quantity of snow, but the general consensus seems to be about 3" where we live.  That's enough to keep us firmly at home, since we won't be able to get out of our driveway, let alone our neighborhood, because the entrance to our neighborhood is a fairly steep hill and our driveway is equally steep.  So we'll see how the day pans out.  My dad may be bringing dinner to us since they have a four-wheel drive truck, but even that's up in the air right now.  I'm not worried.  I'm just excited to see snow.  Last year all we had was the most meager of dustings at one point, so I would love it if there was enough on the ground for the kids to go out front and make a snowman.

Today we're just relaxing at home.  I'm doing a few mundane chores like laundry and making detergent, and later I'll put together some cinnamon rolls for tomorrow's breakfast, but mostly we're sitting on our backsides and just chilling.  It's lovely.

I hope everyone gets to have a great, safe day tomorrow, no matter what your plans!

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, my little boy would snuggle up on my lap and fall asleep.

Now?  Well, he doesn't fit.

But he still falls asleep.  And when he wakes up?

Well... he was a little groggy.

Groggy boys are a tad grumpy.

But they're always adorable.

M1 and Writing

M1 has always been a reluctant writer.  He doesn't like putting words to a page, though he's magnificent at telling stories.  I vividly remember a little 5-year-old boy coming home from preschool and telling me a story about a boy in an apple tree.  It was such a beautiful story that I mentioned it to his teacher the next day and asked which book she had read.  Turned out that there was no such book and my son had invented the story on the spot.  It shocked me (in a good way).  Still, if I ask him to put pen or pencil to paper - or fingers to keyboard - I get a lot of resistance and a lot of stilted words and formulaic sentences.

*sigh*

I wrote a week or so ago about M2's writing project.  At the same time, M1 was doing one.  Because it's harder for him and I ask for longer paragraphs, it took him longer.  Besides anything else, we spent a lot of time finding his voice.  When he first whipped out an outline/rough draft, it read like this:  First, we did then.  Then, we did this.  Next, this happened.  Finally, this.  It was great.  Well, yes, it was, but you'd never have known by reading that paper.  I finally videotaped him telling me about Christmas and then transcribed what he said.  Then I told him, more or less, that he was putting the cart before the horse when it came to structure in his paper.  He was working so hard to make sure the bones of the paper were decent that he forgot that the depth and skin are what people notice the most.  I had to remind him that he can always add structure but he can't always add details and the fun bits of information that make something worth reading.

I don't know if it'll stick, but we did make some progress, and I'm glad. 

M1's story:

               I had a lot of presents on Christmas morning 2011. My favorite parts were the presents and stockings. My sister and I had a blast that morning.

               We were awakened by a cat falling out of the Christmas tree. It sounded like Santa had fallen out of the chimney onto our tree. For a while we talked about what we would do that morning and investigated our presents. Maggie discovered that she had a pink papasan chair. I figured out that I had a lot of small presents but no big presents.

I decided to wake up Mom and Dad. We pounced on Dad to wake him up and then shook the bed to wake up Doom. They grunted, “Oof,” and said, “Get off and wait by the tree!” We waited by the tree until they came in. It seemed like hours.

Finally they came into the living room. As soon as they sat down we launched into our presents. I found a Kindle Fire in one of mine; in another I found a box of Horrible Histories. Under a blanket, my sister found a pink papasan chair. I was so excited that I couldn’t remember anything (of anyone else’s) other than that papasan chair. I was happy that I could have Plants vs. Zombies on the Kindle Fire and turn brains into balls with limewater using a recipe from Horrible Histories. After we opened our presents we opened our stockings and found good things of all kinds. We found thick glow sticks, Tim Tams, Violet Crumbles, Twistz and a type of chocolate with a cup and a half of milk. It was an absolutely wonderful Christmas.

               There was so much delight on Christmas morning I could explode. It was the best day of my life.

----

On an unrelated note, I have things to say about recent events, but I'm waiting until the media and investigators are done with what they do.  Then I'll be able to talk.  Right now I'm still processing.  As many of us are.

Just Keep Swimming

I have to tell myself to just keep swimming a lot this week.  Between M2's Christmas concert, M1's ongoing swim practices and class, various appointments (dentist, doctor, etc.), and Christmas itself, I'm about fried.

I'm not complaining too much.  After all, I know it could be worse.  But the thing that made me the happiest today was finding out that M2 doesn't have a violin lesson next week because that week is reserved for make-up lessons and we haven't missed any this semester.  It felt so good to delete that from my calendar!

I will survive.  I know this.  But if you don't hear much out of me between now and, say, January, you'll have to forgive me.  Time is of the essence, and the kids won't stay little and excited about Christmas forever!

The DSM-V

So the DSM-V (which apparently is now called the DSM-5) reportedly has been finalized.  It is projected to be published in May 2013.  In some ways, I've been wondering what's been going to be in this new book for a long time; in other ways, I couldn't care less.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure how much it will affect us.  M1's current diagnoses were made when he was 5, and I haven't felt a compelling need to get him reevaluated since.  Technically his diagnoses are PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified), ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) combined type, and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder).  However, I'm almost 100% sure the anxiety was simply due to the fact that he was in kindergarten at the time and was basically running on 'high' 24/7, and I'm quite sure that if I had him retested now, the PDD-NOS would be a full diagnosis of Asperger's.  Under the new DSM-5, however, it won't matter which of those he has.  They're all lumped together under Autism Spectrum Disorder.  OK, so theoretically this should make it easier for us to get treatment, since insurance companies and clinics will have to plan treatment for all cases equally.  I've heard that some parents are upset that their child who was formerly 'high-functioning autistic' will now be under the same umbrella as a severely autistic child, but honestly, if they're all on the same spectrum, I hardly see that it matters.  The treatment for both is similar and has to be tailored to the individual child regardless of the 'type' of autism.

M2's diagnoses have the potential to change as well.  Right now she has the working diagnoses of mood disorder NOS, GAD, and separation anxiety. The first one has the most potential for change; that, however, was a given when we got the diagnosis.  She has been stable now - more or less - for nearly a year, and sometimes I wonder if perhaps all her depression and manic actions were just a phase that she was going through.  Still, it's entirely likely that they will recur at some point, because I can also be stable for years before again flinging myself off the deep end.  I hope she isn't like me, but if she is, then I suspect any new diagnoses would fall under the new DSM category of 'disruptive mood dysregulation disorder.'  That fits her manic/depressive phases to a T.  But we shall see.  Again, I suspect treatment for that would be similar to that of her current diagnosis, so what does it matter?  What's in a name, anyway?

The one new thing that really caught my eye, though, is something I haven't touched on here, largely because it has only been a recurrent issue, not a constant one.  Lately, though, it's reared its ugly head again, and I want to share it with you, not to embarrass my son (though no doubt it would) but simply to raise awareness of an issue that I find many families struggle with, especially families with socially impaired or ADHD children (primarily boys).  It's to be called Internet use gaming disorder.  In short, electronics addiction.  M1 struggles with this and always has.  It's hard to use the word 'addiction' when talking about a 10-year-old boy, but what else does one have to consider when catching your son with stolen electronics under his sheets at 12:30 a.m.?  I struggle with whether this is really a diagnosis or simply another symptom of his Asperger's or ADHD, but I suspect that if I brought it to the attention of doctors after the DSM-5 is published, it's a diagnosis that would be added to his list.

Some people would say that I simply haven't parented him right.  Either I've been too strict with electronics and he's begging for more freedom, or I've been too lax and just need to make more rules.  Before we go further, let me tell you how electronics time works in our house. (I'm aware that these folks just need to go take a long walk off a short pier into a bayou full of hungry alligators, but I'm laying it all on the table today, so bear with me.)

Rule #1:  No more than an hour or two of screen time per day.  Some days we have no screen time; other days he gets the full complement.  It varies. 
Rule #2:  All chores must be completed before screen time occurs.  'Nuff said there, I think.
Rule #3:  When screen time is up, you must turn off the device within 5 minutes.  I had to implement this rule when 'I have to save/get back home/finish this episode' turned into another 30 minutes of screen time.

On the computers, we have passwords, and the content is more or less controlled.  On the TV upstairs, we have parental controls locked down for content and time.  When they're borrowing an iPad, they have to stay where we can see or hear what they're playing.  In other words, we're hardly lax parents, but usually when they ask for screen time, if chores are done, they get it.  And yet, if you ask M1, we're tyrants.  We never let him have as much screen time as he wants.  When he does get screen time, he begs for more.  He gets angry when you make him turn things off.  He gets very upset if you don't say yes to his demands right away.  If he's been promised electronics 'later,' you won't hear anything else until he gets that time... and if we're out somewhere, the instant we hit the door, it's, "Can I have my electronics time now??"  If the electronics are in his room, he will be found on them at 12, 1, and 2 a.m. with great regularity.  If I take them away, he steals them back - or, once and very memorably - steals his sister's electronics just to get his 'fix.'  In many ways, his electronics obsession sounds like an addiction.

Unlike an addiction, however, I can't take away all electronics.  I can keep them out of his room, yes, but he's going to need computers to do school work, to send e-mails, and to do research.  He's going to have a phone to make phone calls and send texts - and probably play games - when he gets older.  He will no doubt use computers daily in whatever job he has as an adult.  This isn't like alcohol or drugs, which one can avoid simply by avoiding the atmosphere and/or the product itself.  It isn't like gambling, which can be avoided with more difficulty but with a large degree of success.  This is why I suspect that this diagnosis in the DSM-5 is simply a symptom of an underlying disorder, not a disorder in its own right.  But I'm not the powers that be, and I don't get to make that decision.  I can, however, keep an eye on him and decide if he needs special treatment for it.  For now, like I said, I keep electronics out of his room and make sure he uses them under special circumstances only.  If he gets older and the usage gets more disruptive and I'm no longer able to help (as teens rarely want to listen to their parents), there may be external help available for him, and maybe some books will be written on the topic in the next few years.  I might not approve of the diagnosis as such, but it's kind of nice to know that it'll be there to fall back on if we have to.