I'll leave it to you to work out how old she turned.
You should also probably know that Beth is pretty much allergic to earth. Here's a rough rundown of her allergies:
Blue dye of any sort (she once gave me blue dishwasher detergent because the residue was making her break out into hives)
Nightshades of any sort, including tomatoes
Gobs of medications (it's a seriously scary list)
Basically anything outdoors...
Most importantly for this blog post...
Mushrooms and ALL tree nuts.
She's also lactose-intolerant, but really, that just makes for Fun With Gas. It won't actually kill her.
Anywho, so she had a birthday, and we hadn't properly pranked her yet. She made the mistake of going out of town again, though, so my friends Christy, Sonia, and I put our pointy little heads together and came up with a plan.
First came the peanut- and mushroom-shaped cupcakes. These we delivered to Beth's mom, who is always happy to help us out in our little schemes.
Then we met up at Beth's house and placed small ceramic mushrooms all over her yard. Please ignore Sonia's costume. She was headed to a costume party that night and was meant to be a vampire slayer. In her words, though, "I'm supposed to be a vampire slayer but I look like Lady Gaga."
Hon, you're still hot.
Then we hung our personalized banner on the bushes so that EVERYONE would know it was her birthday.
That's love right there.
Finally, we had the piece de resistance.
We named him Skippy. And since Christy and I were going to a wine "tasting" party ourselves that night, we decided Skippy should come along for the ride.
Wigs are standard fare at our wine parties. Usually the Bubba Teeth get broken out, too, but this year they didn't make it out. A tutu did, though.
Let me now share with you some of the more G-rated moments that Skippy experienced that night.
Some of the party took place outdoors. I dig the blanket.
Christy was rather possessive of her little goober.
She even let him ride on the swing in the back yard!
She was a very proud mama.
By the end of the night, Skippy had survived but was a little worse for wear, having fallen out of a chair once or twice. We put his hung-over self on Beth's porch for her to find. He's a good little mascot.
Happy Birthday, Beth! We love ya!