Here are some activities, thought up by my children, with which to occupy themselves during our latest snow day. (By the way, when Oz went to work this morning, it was a nippy -13 out there, so... yeah... bloody friggin' cold.)
1. Swingset Kickball - Place one child on a swing. Swing vigorously so that your mother can watch the metal frame bend and sway dangerously under the weight of a child. The second child retrieves a ball from the garage, the larger the better. The second child 'pitches' the ball to the child on the swing, who attempts to kick it as high and far as possible. The pitcher fetches the ball. The process repeats until the pitcher flings herself into the snow in protest of not getting to be the swinger/kicker. Teams change sides. The game ends when the ball winds up getting kicked backwards onto the roof or into the living room window, whichever comes first.
2. Icicle Ides of February - Events include Icicle Sibling Stabbing and Icicle Javelin Throw (at your sibling). Winner is the one who isn't crying.
3. Valentine-Making Competition - Children compete to make the 'best' Valentine. Mom is the referee and is required to listen to all whispered nuances of how these Valentines are made while not revealing any details to the other competitor. Help with spelling is also to be provided by the referee. Fouls are to be called for Peeking, Stealing of Supplies, and Plagiarism. ("MOM!! I already asked how to spell 'Valentine!' He can't ask, too!")
4. Stretch Armstrong, Winter Edition - Children must submit at least two articles of clothing each to their mother for inspection in the "I've outgrown this" category. These articles are required to be mandatory for winter wear (i.e. coats, sweaters, jeans) and highly inconvenient to replace. For example, M1 walked up today and submitted the article Size 12 Slim Jeans as being too tight. They are also about 2" too short. He has recently ripped three pairs of jeans, so this leaves him with a serious pants shortage. *sigh*
5. Reading Marathon - Mom, after her stint as Valentine-Making Competition referee, is now required to submit to a Reading Marathon by her youngest child. Help to be provided is minimal, but full attention must be given at all times, lest a single word be missed. Compliments must be showered lavishly. (To be fair, I'm impressed with her reading ability, but after three Llama Llama books and a Mercer Meyer book, I'm done for the week.)
6. Health Complaint, NOS - Each child must list two random symptoms and one actual health issue for diagnosis. M1's latest submission is a headache after whacking his head on a doorframe after spinning around like a loon. He claims this will permanently affect his eyesight. M2's main 'problem' is a claimed lack of attention causing the random symptom Temper Tantrum. See Reading Marathon for my incredulity in her having an actual problem.
I just got the call saying school will be in session tomorrow. I've never been so grateful. I think their creativity is going to be the death of me.