I have gobs of pictures and actual things to share with you, really I do. But right now let me make you feel better about the state of your own home by sharing an anecdote about mine.
Remember how, a month or so ago, I had a negative experience making pumpkin streusel pie?
Right. Well, Oz ran the oven through a cleaning cycle a few days after the original pie mishap, I wiped up every speck of pumpkin residue I could find, and I was content that all was right in my kitchen again. I proceeded as if everything was normal.
Little Did I Know...
Today I was making Greek-inspired turkey burgers (turkey burgers in pitas with spinach, feta cheese and a nice little dressing that contained kalamata olives and cucumber) for dinner. New recipe. It said to broil the burgers, which I thought sounded like a grand idea because I'm all about not cleaning the top of the stove these days.
It's another example of my domesticity run amok. I can hear all the Martha Stewart wannabes out there clicking their tongues and shaking their head in chastisement. I know. I know. I do. I promise to do better soon.
I opened the drawer underneath my oven to pull out my rarely-used broiler pan that sits at the bottom of the drawer, hiding underneath the cookie sheets, pizza pans, and jelly roll pans (that are more often used for baking fries and chicken strips than anything resembling a jelly roll), filling almost all available space at the bottom of the drawer, thereby OBSCURING the view of the bottom of the drawer.
This is crucial.
I pulled this broiler pan from its lowly place in the hierarchy of the oven drawer... to see something black, white, and greenish-blue staring up at me.
In my oven drawer.
I stared at it for a second, trying to figure out what on earth could have caused mold to spontaneously grow in the bottom of this drawer when it hits me like a Chinese fighting muffin a la Charlie's Angels.
Pumpkin. I didn't get all the pumpkin.
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.......... *cue dance of grossness, complete with wringing of hands*
I spent the next 20 minutes NOT fixing dinner as I relegated the broiler tray to the sink to be washed, removed everything else that thankfully hadn't touched the mold (which must have stopped growing when we used the self-cleaning system on the oven because it was long since dead and crusted over which... ew ew ew ew ew ew ew AGAIN).
My oven drawer is successfully cleaned now, thankfully long before my spic-and-span mother and grandmother arrive for Christmas Eve lunch. I sense a hunt coming on to go through the rest of my kitchen to see what else lurks. If nowhere else in my house, the kitchen should at least be up to code!