Off the Lexapro, that is.
I had posted a few weeks ago that I wasn't sure the Lexapro was going to cut it. (Read that post here.) A couple of you advised me to stick it out and see if things stabilized. I appreciated the thoughts and kept with it, but... well... things didn't get better.
Last Wednesday we had our med recheck. She'd been completely hyperactive every single day since being on the medication, but since there were fewer fits, I figured I'd go with the lesser of two weevils and stick with the meds. The doctor said that'd work and that if she was still hyper in a few more weeks and it was affecting her school performance, we could try to add a stimulant and see if her diagnostic combo was anxiety and ADHD. I still didn't think it was, but again, that'd be better than bipolar, and I'm willing to chase all angles.
We went home from the doctor's office with that plan on paper, and M2 instantly proved that it was the WRONG PLAN.
Here's when you know your 5-year-old has gone off the deep end: She is mildly irritated at you for telling her to quit bouncing on the furniture for the 500th time that day, and so she informs you - quite calmly - that she has a plan to kill you by burning the house down.
I saw no sense in overreacting, so we simply had a chat about it, and she never did show any remorse. She didn't want the cats to die, but her brother and father were fair game. Concerns about being taken care of? None. "I'll just get a new mom." What if she's not as nice as I am? "Oh, well, I'll kill her, too."
But we got past it and she seemed to forget about it. She did inform her brother a couple days later that she wanted him to die because he was the "worst brother ever." Thankfully M1 is about as reactive as I am to things like that, so he just figured them was fightin' words and lit into her like he does lately.
Then yesterday her 'sister' appeared again. The 'sister' has appeared a few times since we started taking the medication, but yesterday was the first time it occurred to me that she might be something more than simply an imaginary friend. Last night M2 got out of bed and came into the living room - not an uncommon occurrence - and said, "Mom, why did you yell my name?"
The house had been silent. The only noise had been my computer fan. Even the TV was off.
"I didn't call your name."
"Really? I heard someone yell my name really loud."
"Really. It wasn't me."
"Oh... well, it must have been my sister."
At that point I'd hit my limit. I e-mailed the pediatric psychiatrist and shared these tidbits with him as well as the fact that I'd talked to her kindergarten teacher who said that M2 had been almost impossible to keep in her chair and "quite distractable."
I got an e-mail back at 7:34 a.m. with instructions to discontinue the medication and just follow her moods and see how they go. I'd say we're back to square one, but that's not quite true. If the sister disappears, we'll know for sure that SSRIs aren't helping!
Back to charting moods. Wish me luck. :)