Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Death By Ragweed

According to the site where I got this picture (click photo for link),
this bugger is responsible for nearly 90% of pollen-related allergies.
Mother Earth is trying to kill me.

Slowly.

Painfully.

Annually.

And if she keeps it up, they'll be able to just toss me in a hole and bury me under my own Kleenex.  I'll never notice.

See that photo up there?  My eyes are swelling just looking at it.  That's ragweed.  There's a "giant" version of it, too.

Oklahoma is COVERED in ragweed this time of year.  Nasty stuff.  Stepping outside for 15 minutes equates to about two hours of sneezing and nose-blowing.  I'm pretty sure I have whiplash from all the sneezing because my neck and shoulders are killing me.  It's a miracle I haven't had a wreck because when you're driving and sneezing at the same time, you spend a lot of time with your eyes involuntarily closed.  The children have started counting how many times it's possible for Mama to sneeze between the house and the school.

I don't know what the record is because I can't hear them while I'm sneezing.

And this is me on Zyrtec. 

Let's not think about how bad it normally is, OK?  It doesn't bear contemplating.

Normally it starts getting bad in August, but it waited till September this year.  And normally the torture ends in October when we get frost, but since it's still 90+ degrees outside, I don't think that'll happen any time soon.

Mother Nature is MEAN.

What amuses me, though, is the fact that the meteorologists still feel the need to *share* the allergy index with us during their evening broadcasts.

"Why, yes, the allergy index will be high today and might be even higher tomorrow.  I suspect ragweed is still the main culprit."

No $#!*, Sherlock.  *I* could have told you that, and *I* do not have a fancy-schmancy degree that lets me be on TV in front of a green screen wearing a suit and tie every day.

Not that I'm knocking the meteorologists around here.  Come tornado season, I'll happily kiss their feet.  But really, do they have to rub it in that I'm miserable today and will STILL be miserable tomorrow?

I think they're in cahoots with Mother Nature.

And I hope they all run out of Zyrtec.

3 comments:

Habebi said...

I feel your pain girl!! Ugh.. Yeah sometimes the meteorologists are so damn annoying. I know they just trying to be all broadcast like bybeingcute, but, someone should tell them they are more insulting and obnoxious when they say stuff like that.

With that rant out of the way hope you survive! Hang in there girl it'll be over soon!

Beth said...

AAAAA HAHHHAHHAHAHHA...

Mom on the Verge said...

What're you taking for it? Nothing works?!